Narcissistic,My God,I Love it

Four

"Ano? You're not joining the beauty contest?" my classmate said to me and I can see everyone in the room seemed dumbfounded

Our Foundation Day is coming up and there's this beauty contest event and I know everyone is expecting me to join but I won't.

"Because if I join, I'll definitely lose" I said in a depressing way

"We're very sure that you're going to win it" -classmate

"Oo nga, walang tatalo sa ganda mo" -classmate

"Boring manood pag wala ka" -classmate

"Boycott kami lahat kung hindi ka manonood o sasali" -classmate

"Agree, panalo agad" -classmate

"Don't say that, it's impossible" I said to them

(Because everyone would be in panic if I joined, you understand that right? I mean it would not be a competition then)

(Aren't I pretty? It's just a simple fact. No matter what kind of job I get in the future, 'too beautiful' would come to mind right? Like 'too beautiful' teacher, 'too beautiful' doctor, 'too beautiful' lawyer)

"I don't like joining those because it scares me" 

(It's too much trouble if other companies would scout me, I already have a management )

(Because if I entered I'm by far the very best that it won't be exciting at all, just saying)

"Jessica, ikaw nalang kaya ang ganda mo nga eh surely panalo agad tayo" I said so that it won't just be about me

(As if, isn't the one who told you that you're beautiful is way  much more beautiful? I'm just too beautiful after all)

(Above being pretty,I'm nice and you know what that means? It means I'm unbeatable)

"Sige I'm gonna try for it" she said to me

"Definitely! so they're gonna see what a real star is" I smiled

(Huh aren't you just expecting me to say it because you're looking for an approval for me. Way to go)

I excused myself from the conversation because I had to go to the bathroom but while I was inside  the cubicle I heard a conversation I wasn't supposed to

"You know that girl Aerin from the other class really gets on my nerves. She pretend to be so nice and elegant, acting like a real damn princess when in reality she's just a big fake that it bugs me!." 

"I know right! my dad knows his dad and apparently she's a loner in his own house. It's rumored that his dad reminds her of her mother who left them that's why he never goes home cuz she hates her mere existence"

(No. My mother didn't left us, she died)

"Also her brother hates her that's why he decided to stay very far"

(No. My brother is just busy helping others)

"Really?! No wonder she acts like that because she doesn't want people to leave her, poor girl"

(Maybe I am like this because I don't want people to leave me)

"Let's not mind her nalang  her bad luck might stick to us"

(Maybe I'm really a bad luck to my family)

"Truuu"

"Let's go girls!"

Hearing all that, I didn't know how to react I just found myself walking and staring blankly at everything and when I found a spot with no people around I just poured myself there. I couldn't  stop myself  from crying  I just sat there and hugged my knees. I didn't know how long it lasted but it seems I was not the only one there

"You're affecting my study" He said but he's just holding his phone again. 

Upon saying that he sat beside me while I'm still crying. I don't know why I can't stop my tears in front of him but I just know I have to let it all out

"Tapos ka na?" He asked in a low voice

"In the past I've cried by myself and wiped my own tears, I've wiped them till I was used to it so yeah I'm done." I said to him, I know he get what I mean he's the smartest in the class after all.

"You know you don't have to fake what you're feeling in front of others"

"Yeah, like faking my niceness kung yun ang sinasabi mo" I retorted

"You are nice, but you don't think that I'm right because you are trying so hard to be nice to all of the people that it makes you think that you're faking it"  he said

"Why are you consoling me anyway?" I looked at him

"Because you're stuck, nobody wants to be stuck" I don't know what magic his words hold but his words calmed me and gave me that sense of belonging

"Being kind to everyone, getting rid of all their worries, helping them in anyway. I've seen a lot of things within these two months.Why do you work so hard for everybody?" He asked me 

A question that I can answer easily if I'm being real

"Because I enjoy it and I'm comforted by it" I smiled bitterly and he just nods at me

"So are you okay now?" He asked

"I will be, eventually" I said

We just sat there together without speaking because no words are needed anymore with the atmosphere that we built but 

"I'm pretty, right?" I asked him in pure curiosity

"Now you're being real" He laughed and stood up

"Come on answer me?! I don't know if I can also fake that" 

"Who knows" He said and left me there

"Wait for me!"

(Yep, I'm pretty that he's speechless about it, he's just teasing me )

"Anong plans mo for foundation day?" I asked when I caught up to him

"Nothing" 

"Ako din! Coincidence pareho tayo!"

"Are you sure about that?" He asked teasingly

"Oo naman!" I said defensively 

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I'm here at the sala of my house just sitting in the sofa and staring blankly ahead

"Nak lalim yata ng iniisip mo ha" Yaya said and sat at a nearby chair

"Don't worry yaya hindi ako nag-iisip" I said which made her look surprised

"Naku  basta wag lang madalas ha" She said teasing me

"Yaya naman eh" I complained

"Ah nga pala sino yung lalaki noon na pumunta dito?" She asked curiously 

"Classmate ko po Ya'" 

"Gusto mo ba siya?" my eyes widened at her question

(No Way Jose! Me?! The Goddess at school would like a guy who's not even at the same level as me... well in terms of smartness he surpassed me but that's not the point)

"I never liked anyone yaya you know that"

"Malay mo lang, first time mo kasing nagpapunta ng lalaki dito bukod sa manager mo at kilala kita hindi ka basta basta nagpapapasok lang ng lalaki dito"

"Sure Ya' you know everything about me, everything" I said it sarcastically

"ohsiya dun muna ako sa kusina" 

"Okay po"

And with that I started thinking

(Haysss ano kayang gagawin ni North on Foundation Day. Sino kaya ang kasama niya? Busy kaya siya ngayon? Ano kayang ginaga-- Wait. Wait. Why can't I stop thinking about him?)

(HA Maybe I just can't stand that a boring guy like him don't me give the 'whoa' that I want. Yeah maybe that's it. For sure, I don't like him)