Jinxing is the Way|Milo Murphy fanfic

The Substitute

Season 1 episode 8
The four of us sat at our lab table in Mrs. Murawski's classroom.
"Uh oh. We got a substitute," Zack said, pointing towards the lady that stood at the front of the classroom.
"What's the matter with a substitute?," Milo asked
"Nothing per se. It all depends on what type you get," Zack explained to us.
"What do you mean?," I asked.
"Well, you get your try-too-hards," Zack said, opening his book to show a sketch of a try-too-hard substitute. Zack turned the page.
"And your drill sergeants," he countied
"Well, let's see what we got this time," Melissa said, cutting him off.
"Good morning students. I'm Ms. Baxter, your substitute teacher. But can I really call myself a teacher? Will I be able to teach you in this brief interval where our lives overlap? And if I did, how would I ever know?," she said to us.
"Oh. I forgot the third one, the discouraged burn-out," Zack said holding up a drawing of Ms. Baxter in his book.
"Nice likeness," Melissa complimented his art skills.
"Thanks," Zack said blushing slightly.
"You know...I never thought about it before, but being a substitute must be hard. Maybe if I...?," Milo said
"Careful, Milo. Remember the last time you "maybe-if-I"-ed? They had to call in the National Guard," I reminded him.
"I know. I got to hold a grenade launcher," Milo said to a shocked Zack.
"Today, I'll show you this moderately accurate movie about exothermic reactions," Ms.Baxter said, holding up a CD.
"Excuse me, Ms Baxter. Our school doesn't have the most up to date audio visual equipment. Do you have anything that'll play on this?," Milo said, spinning a zoetrope with a jumping monkey.
"It's called a zoetrope. We also have a horse jumping and one of a fish," I finished.
"And no one can figure out what this one is," Melissa said, spinning a zoetrope with a jumping magical old timey bathing suit in it.
"Well, I guess that means I'll have to teach... You there, boy with the kind eyes. You're my teacher's aid for the day," Ms.Baxter said, pointing at Milo.
"Cool. These glasses really work," Milo said, taking off some glasses with pictures of big, pleading eyes on the lenses.
"Um, Ms. Baxter? You might want to put on your safety goggles and take a step back," Amanda said.
"Like, maybe all the way to Canada," Bradley added.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well the next thing I'm supposed to "teach" is the three phases of matter. Solid...," Ms.Baxter said before being interrupted by a squeaky board. Everyone stopped and looked at it as it moved around the room to a power outlet.
"The three phases of matter: Solid, Liquid...," she kept going before everyone turned again to watch the board noisily make its way back to the closet door.
"Solid, liquid, and gas. To demonstrate, Milo will mix together baking soda, a solid, and vinegar, a liquid, to produce carbon dioxide gas,"
"Ok everyone. Goggles on," Milo said as we all put on our goggles.
"Right, you don't need goggles for this," Ms.Baxter said.
"Flak vests too," I reminded everyone. Everyone put on flak vests.
"Okay. Let's get started," Milo said. The rest of us hid behind our tables. Milo opened a stand and placed the textbook on it, opening it to the appropriate page. He then followed the instructions and put in the vinegar and baking soda. The trolley he was  working on top of then completely collapsed. The flask then shot across the room, propelled by the carbon dioxide
"Vinegar and baking soda can't catch on fire. That's impossible, it's endothermic," Ms.Baxter said.
"Yeah uh, strange things happen around Milo," I said. Chad emerged from under mine and Melissa's table.
"Spooky things. Other worldly...," Chad started saying.
"Chad. What have I told you about rising up from under our table?," Melissa said as Milo used a fire extinguisher to put out the fire.
"Not to do it?," Chad asked sheepishly. The quantum localizer made a weird sound. Melissa looked at it and unplugged it from the wall.
"Young lady. Just because you have a substitute doesn't mean you can text during class," Ms.Baxter said, taking the quantum localizer off Melissa and starting to press buttons on it.
"That's not my phone. That just made a weird noise," Melissa said
"How do you turn this thing off?," Ms.Baxter asked before a portal opened behind Ms. Baxter and sucked her in. She eventually exited it in the exact position she started in the classroom in a shocked state.
"Uh, Ms. Baxter? Your uh... Your hair's a little messed up," Zack said. Ms. Baxter wordlessly put the quantum localizer down, picked up the textbook and moved back to the front of the class.
"Really? That's what jumped out at you about that whole thing?," Melissa asked him.
Ms. Baxter gave the textbook to Milo.
"You're in charge," she said. Ms. Baxter sat down at Ms. Murawski's desk and leaned back with sunglasses over her eyes.
'Okay. Polymerization. That sounds advanced. I'm gonna need an assistant. Any volunteers?," Milo asked the class. Everyone looked at me.
"... Everyone's looking at me, aren't they?," I asked before standing up and heading over to join my twin.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Ok Mila, just one more thing," Milo said as I stood next to the chemical trolley with a helmet, goggles, and gloves.
"What's the final ingredient?," I asked my twin.
"Actually, that's two things so... I guess three more things. We need to add six grams of diaminohexane. Careful, it's very volatile," Milo said. I poured some diaminohexane into a prepared solution. Zack frowned.
"That isn't diaminohexane is it?," he asked
"I just said it was," Milo said
"But Diaminohexane makes me sneeze," Zack protested.
"I must have grabbed the wrong one," I said.
"How could you possibly know that?," Melissa asked Zack
"When I was a kid, I had this chemistry set and I-," Zack began before sneezing and bumping into me causing me to bump into the beaker with the solution in it and a drop flew out of it. The class gasped.
"Noooo," Melissa said. The drop landed on the floor. Milo and I looked at it.
"Chemical spill!," I called
"Everyone panic! I'll start," Zack cried running around the room. All the other students started panicking.
"Just pour some chemical absorbent on it. There's probably some in the closet," Ms.Baxter said from her chair.
"I'll get it," Milo said. Milo walked back and dumped the supposed chemical absorbent on the spill.
"Ms. Baxter, I don't think it's working," Melissa said as the spill turned into a bubbling goo.
"The chemical absorbent will neutralize the spill," Ms.Baxter said. The goo started to spread and grow.
"Uh. Does neutralize mean the same thing in science class that it does in English class?," Melissa asked her. All of us climbed onto their tables as the blob covered the whole floor of the classroom.
"Oh, this can't be good," Zack said. One section of the blob formed a hand like appendage and waved it in front of Ms. Baxter's face with no reaction.
"Maybe it's a friendly blob," Milo said but the blob grabbed Chad and threw him across the room.
"Hey Milo?," Zack called
"Yeah?," Milo asked.
"It's not a friendly blob," I explained to my twin. Milo was then grabbed by his ankle and slammed against a locker. Next to Amanda the blob had formed a near human form and was using a phone.
"Ms. Baxter. It's texting in class," Amanda said to the teacher. Mort grabbed an appendage of the blob.
"Nice head lock Mort," I said
"I hope this is its head," Mort prayed. A new appendage grew behind Mort and went to grab him but I stopped it and pulled Mort up onto the table with me.
"Thanks Mila," Mort said partially embarrassed
"Oh please, you're my friend," I said, pulling out my lasso. The blob grabbed the sunglasses off Ms. Baxter. Ms. Baxter looked up at it and tried to run, but it quickly caught her and held her upside-down. Ms. Baxter screamed as she tried to keep her skirt up.
"What is it?," Ms.Baxter panicked.
"We don't know. It's not quite a liquid and not quite a solid," Zack said.
"Wait a minute. The three phases of matter," I said
"So we can turn it into a solid," Milo exclaimed.  Milo and I grabbed some fire extinguishers and quickly shut the door.
"Hey blob!," J called out
"Chill," Milo said, firing the extinguisher at a section of the blob and it quickly froze.
"Here, Zack," I said, passing a fire extinguisher to Zack with my foot. Zack grabbed it and started freezing the blob. As me, Milo and Zack froze many components of the blob, one section snuck up behind Zack.
"Get down," Melissa shouted. Zack ducked as Melissa used a fire extinguisher to freeze that section.
~~~~~~
Milo and I finally froze the last of the blob.
"Now everything's cool," Milo said
"You gonna keep talking like that?," Melissa asked him.
"Thinking about it. I'm sorry that today...," Milo started saying
"You better not," I said, shoving my brother. Milo cleared his throat and returned to his normal voice.
"Right, as I was saying I'm sorry today was so terrible Ms. Baxter," Milo finished.
"Milo, I went through a wormhole into deep space and I was juggled by a sentient blob. Terrible isn't the word for it," Ms.Baxter said standing back up.
"Yeah, I guess not," I said.
"Awesome is the word!," Ms.Baxter told us.
"Really? Why?," Melissa asked her.
"Because you actually learned the three phases of matter in my class!," Ms.Baxter explained. The four of us all looked around questioningly as Ms. Baxter beamed up at the roof.
"I taught you something!," our teacher said happily.
"Well, it's just like our dad says: "All's well that ends with a sentient blob making a teacher remember why she loves teaching."," Milo said
"Wow. Your dad's sayings are weirdly specific," Ms.Baxter said.
"Tell us about it," I added.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night I was going to try again but I couldn't do it. So I just sat in my bed trying to figure out how to talk to Milo about the letter. Booms was an amazing school and it went all the way up to 12th grade and I had the chance at a full ride scholarship. I had to tell him this was my dream.