{a special idiot} || Killermare

7:|| Nightmare.

This is killing me... I can't take anymore of it. Error tells me I just have to tell him... And I think that I will... I just need to plan it out, even though I'm almost confident he'll reject me, still... It's worth asking, is it not? Dream always tells me I have to go for gold. To run after what I want and don't stop until I get it. And on the lonely days I leave the castle and escape to my friend Ccino's café, he tells me I have nothing to fear and that I'm worth the world to somebody out there, I just have to find them. 

With all these encouraging words and thoughts, even if Error just calls me a coward and says I'm worrying over nothing, I think I have the courage to do it. So once again, I find myself sitting at my desk in my office, which is connected to my room by a door, staring at plans and papers, not focusing on a single thing.

It's all...

Because...

Of him.

Error knows I have a hard time sleeping. I toss and turn, I wake up and worriedly call for him. Yeah, I've yelled at Dust over text to make me coffee at five in the morning... Sometimes Killer does it for me without me even asking, because he knows I can't sleep either, he just doesn't understand why. I know I'll have to tell him eventually it's because I can't get him out of my mind, but how do I say that without it sounding weird?

Dear Asgore... I hate this stupid feeling... Love... Dust often describes love as intoxicating, and I can see how. He also says that thinking of someone you love can keep you sane, and that's why he isn't a full on psycho, but I don't agree with that. Who knows why Dust seems to be the love expert in the group. He can't possibly be in a relationship, can he?

Who cares about Dust? My problem is Killer. I can't continue to lose sleep over him. I have to tell him... I have to...

"Boss? You wanted to talk to me alone?"

Killer's here... Okay, Nightmare. Do not panic. Do not screw up. You better not screw up...

I clear my throat. Obviously I would be looking him in the eyes if I wasn't so nervous and if the lights were on. "Uhm, yeah. Come in... Take a seat. Just don't leave with it."

Killer chuckles sweetly. "I wasn't planning on it, Boss. Don't give me any grand ideas."

"Shut up..."

He sits down, head tilted slightly as he stares at me with those big black eyes not unlike a cute baby animal. I look over my shoulder for a bit so that hopefully, he doesnt notice me blush... I feel so stupid right now, but... This is for my own good.

"So... Killer... Uhm... I think that as your boss, I have the right to know about any relationships here."

Immediately, with the smuggest grin, Killer says, "Dust's with Blueberry."

"I couldn't care less. If I wanted to know, I would have called Dust, not you."

"Oh. Uhm... Well, I'm not. With anybody. And I don't like anyone, either... I kinda gave up on crushes, because neither of them ended well, especially not Outer..."

Killer's love life has always been a sensitive topic within the gang, and we always tell him the same things: he's a part of us, we love him, and we're here for him no matter what. I can tell he really appreciates it, because he gets all rosy-cheeked and smiles so dang cute...

"Hm..."

"Boss? Are you okay? You don't look good..."

"I'm fine... I'm fine... Thanks for asking. No, I'm just... Thinking."

"About what?"

Here I go, I guess. Be cheesy, you know Killer likes that. Cheesy and brutally honest. Come on, Night!

"You."

Everything seems to freeze after this. Killer sweats nervously, and I assume it was the accidental cold tone I took on when I replied.

"Wha-what? Why?!"

"Hey! Calm down, please. You aren't in trouble..."

I smile at him, this time hoping he could see my face was warm and hopefully get the idea. After a few minutes, he does.

"Oh my... No way, Boss..."

"No way... What?"

I grin at him, and he stands up, slamming his hands on my desk, a side smile on his face.

"You like me!!!"

"Who told you that?"

It's really hard not to chuckle and smile at him. He's adorable and funny and just... I wanted him. Badly. And now he's right in front of me, reacting better than I had expected.

"Your face told me that. Oh my- You like me!!! Since when?"

"Since forever."

His face saddens. "Why... Why hadn't you told me? Why now?"

"I... I was scared, okay...?"

He grabs my hands. "Don't be scared. It's okay. I'm glad to know somebody likes me."

"... I love you, y'know."

"... I love you, too."

"Go back to bed, Killer. It's 3:46 in the morning."

"Can... I sleep with you tonight, actually?"

"Huh? Oh! Of course!"

"I love you, Boss."

"... Please, call me Nightmare."