Free falling.

Chapter 1 Never ending

I felt the floor move out from under me as I stumbled up and down the dark stairwell. I couldn't let anyone see me for the fear that they would want more than to just help me.
I lifted my phone from the cold concrete floor where I had just dropped it. It felt heavy as I lifted it up limply to my face.
My eyes were bloodshot and felt sunken in, but they tried their hardest to focus on the small, bright screen.
As my eyes finally dilated correctly and focused on the lock screen I was able to see that it read 3:23am.
Wow, a new set record of coming home early. I had been going out late and coming home late for too long now. Ever since I was reminded of my past by watching a few home movies at my brother's new home. With his new fiancé and future children on the way.
His fiancé, Charlotte, seemed like she was going to pop any day now like a piñata. Except the candy in this belly was to be two newborn twins and their placentas and a side of umbilical cord.
Yum, am I right? (No, no your not Jay.)
He had his life all together no matter what the past had been for us both as children. A mother that felt it fit to leave her two children with an unsuitable, drunken father figure.
He had beaten us with his words and alcohol stained breath as he screamed into our small faces.
We had been taken away a few months after the day I attended school with a dark purple, swollen eye. We were sent to live with our young aunt Lydia.
She is a nice lady who has raised us well, but I feel like what I've done with my life has disappointed her.
Oh well. I will try being clean for a while longer this time, but for now I needed to make it to my room in at least two pieces this time.
I fumbled with my keys at the front door to my dorm room. The last room to the left at the end of the hallway in the commons. It was the closest to the bus, which played in my favor on nights like this.
My nose was resting on the door where the green paint was flaking and chipping off slowly.
I finally was able to insert the correct key into the keyhole. I struggled to twist the the door's handle, but finally I entered into the cold room.
Just what I needed, an air conditioned dorm room. I skipped brushing my hair or teeth because no matter what I'd still look like crap in the morning, and smell like it as well.
Wait it is morning isn't it? Hmmm...
I stripped off my clothes and cleaned up as well as I could, but my futon was calling my name. Yelling it actually.
JAY, HEY JAY!
Okay maybe I do need some sleep... Futons don't talk Jay.
I finally gave up on cleaning myself up for class tomorrow, if I even decided on attending the classes. It wasn't like I really needed to since they got money either way; if I attended or not.
Greedy little bastards.
I collapsed onto my comforter and fell into an instant sleep filled with the same dream as always.

The room was dark at first. My eyes started to adjust to the darkness and I could now see a slight figure in the shadows.
It had been silent for some time and then I could hear the words. The words that came to me in every short fragment of this nightmare.
He was slinking over drunk-like and whispered the same old words, "you are worthless you know? You will turn out to be just as messed up as I was. You will never dig yourself out of this grave you've made for yourself. You will never be anything better than your mother and I."
That part was the only part I really remembered in each dream. Being told I would never be anything better than the ones who gave me life would be the death of me.
I always believed it though. I had never been told any different from anyone in reality. If only someone would come save me from myself before I dug the grave, this man in my nightmares talked about, too deep that no one would come down to get me out.

Then, like every ending of this nightmare that I would see when I put myself into these never ending hangovers, the building went ablaze in flames and surrounded me in its hot sparks. The buzzers sound off and slowly increase in volume and fill my head. Everything goes white and I awake to my alarm clock beeping.