Will you still love me?

Chapter 3

JOHN B'S POV:

Today, it's the bonfire. Thank God school is over; I hate that shit. Now, we're free to enjoy our days, surf, and go to parties whenever we want to. No worries, just fun. I am pretty excited for this summer, but not like I used to be. This one is different. A lot has changed, and I am not the biggest fan of changes. This year, Sarah will not be enjoying summer with us. It's been a while since I've seen her. She used to hang out with us every single day, even on school nights. But after her mom died, she never came back around. She slowly walked away and abruptly cut us off from her life.

I can understand that she was, or still is, going through a hard time. And that's why I can't blame her for it. I know she needed some space, and to be honest, it broke me to see her like that. She spent her days crying, not eating or sleeping. She would just stare at a fixed point on her wall and wouldn't say anything. It consumed her, and she couldn't move anymore. In the first weeks, I was there for her every day. I'd hold her in my arms and let her wet my shirt with her tears, I'd bring her food, and rock her to sleep. But after the first month, she locked herself away and wouldn't let me in. She didn't answer my texts and forced me to leave her alone.

I didn't give up that easily. I fought a little bit, but I guess I crossed her privacy line. It took me a while to understand that she wanted that space. And so, once I got it, I gave it to her. But I wish it hadn't separated us like it did. I think of her a lot, mostly when Kie tells us about her or something. She said Sarah is always alone, misses a lot of classes, and never attends any parties.

I've considered reaching out, but I don't know how. I mean, she blocked our numbers. I guess she really doesn't want us around anymore. I've never seen Sarah as mad as she was that day when we fought. She yelled at me and said a few upsetting words that hurt me, but I believe she was just mad at the world for taking away the one she loved the most. She ended up directing that anger at me, and I don't resent her for that. If I could, I would take away her pain and carry it myself if it meant she would be fine. I just needed her to be okay. I just wanted her to come back to us. To me.

Anyways, not only Sarah's absence has changed this summer. Now, we have a new friend, Cleo. She started hanging out with us because of Pope. She moved to OBX not long ago, and they met in Spanish class. He asked if he could introduce her to the group, and we all agreed. Honestly, I think he has a thing for her, but I don't really know. She's very nice, and she fits in amazingly well with our group. But she is not Sarah.

"Finally." -I say as Kie enters the van.

"I was getting ready, okay?" -she defends herself.

"Yes, ma'am." - I say, putting my hands up.

"Summer is here, guys!" - JJ shouts, opening his beer—definitely not his first.

"Thank God." -Pope says.

"This year is gonna be sick." -they all agree, but I keep quiet.

When we arrive, we gather close to the fire where the music is louder. The heat of the bonfire, along with the summer vibes, makes everyone excited that the best part of the year has arrived. The excitement and the desire for it not to end soon are visible in everybody's eyes. Amidst the smell of burning wood and the smoky atmosphere, there are Kooks and Pogues partying together, something as rare as Bigfoot evidence. But despite our differences, we are all just hanging out, drinking, and laughing. We're just having the time of our lives as if it's all that matters.

I glance at some Kooks standing next to us and notice something different from usual. In the middle of them, I see her. Sarah. There she is, a little bit excluded from the group but smiling. She holds a beer and looks at me. The intense eye contact we make for a while disappears when she looks down. It intrigues me that she's here.