Fade into you

Chapter 5

Song I listened to while writing :
Super Sonic by Alex Armor
River song by birdie
Moon song by Phoebe Bridgers

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Nat had always hated the showers in the locker room. Not a single fibre of her being had ever wished to be naked in the same room as 15 other girls she saw at school everyday. She usually left school as soon as practice was over, or waited around for everyone to have already left, if she knew there wasn't any hot water at home.

But Today was different. Today she was going to hang out with Lottie. Had she known, she'd have brought her bottle of perfume. She only used it on special occasions, but this had to count, right?

The wet tiles under her feet made it hard to even show a semblance of confidence as she walked to the showers, completely vulnerable, no piece of clothing there to protect her. She stared down, using her peripheral vision to guide herself to an empty spot. To her great relief, she was alone, the girls were still changing. She finally relaxed her tense shoulders and took a deep breath. Truth is, she had no idea where to bring Lottie. They could go down to the lake, where the parties happened. It was quite beautiful during the day, she thought. But everything she knew was dull and mundane, compared to Lottie. Nothing she could think of could ever come close to being good enough for her.

She wanted it to be perfect.

"Well well, getting pretty for our hangout I see." Someone said behind her. She turned her head around towards the voice out of reflex but gasped and almost gave herself whiplash looking away.

Of course it's her. Did you not hear what she said?

"I see you're doing the same." It is a miracle that her voice didn't shake. The only thing drowning Lottie's presence away was the water pouring on her head.

"Of course I am. I want you to think I smell nice. And also that I'm pretty, of course." Lottie said as she picked the shower head right next to her. Nat could see her dark hair in her peripheral vision. If Lottie wanted, she could look at her. If she wanted, she could look at the girl. But all Nat could do was act as absorbed by the white tiles in front of her as one would in front of a Van Gogh painting. She cursed herself. Her shampoo rested between her and Lottie.

"You are very pretty." She mumbled loud enough for the girl to hear her. Lottie turned her head towards her. Natalie could feel just how close they were. She slowly traced the wall with her eyes until they safely landed on Lottie's face, who was staring right back at her. Nat blushed. Her instinct was to back away, they were too close. But to back away would mean being less close to Lottie's face. It would mean seeing more. And she couldn't. She didn't want to. She would never dare.

"I know." The girl simply said. She looked away and put her head back, allowing the water to trickle on her face. Nat couldn't detach her eyes as easily. She had never noticed just how high the girls cheekbones were. They carved her face in traceable, delicate lines that connected her ears, nose and mouth. Her eyelashes were long, and her lips had never looked as pretty as they did right now. She frowned at her own thoughts. This was too much.

This means more to you than it does to her.

"I'll go get the bike ready."

She hurried out of the showers. She'd get her shampoo bottle later. It was safer that way.

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Lottie appeared at the gates twenty minutes later.

They waved at each other smiling. Nat stood there, looking at her. She thought back about the shower. About Lottie's tan skin, the pearls of water falling down her face, wet hair flowing down her back like the river of Styx. She thought about how much they could've seen, but how neither of them would. She had never felt so exposed yet so safe.