Fade into you

Chapter 9

Hi. I know I've been gone for a long time. Sorry about that, my gf came and also we climbed a mountain. But now uni is starting again so I'll have some structure in my life. Weekly updates are back.

Songs I listened to while writing:

Need 2 by Pinegrove
Night shift by Lucy Dacus
Cry by cigarettes after sex

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"I missed this, you know?" Van was sitting cross legged on her bed. "You here, us having sleepovers, all that childhood stuff that stops before you know it."

"We don't have to stop. We can just have sleepovers forever." Nat joked and jumped on the bed. She layed down, and rested her head on Van's lap like she had done thousands of times before.

Vanessa Palmer's room had been a safe haven for Nat since she could remember. Van had grown up without a dad, which immediately made her house feel safer. Her trailer was deafeningly quiet. But Van enjoyed it. She was never lonely. She had managed to cultivate a world of her own. Nat's favourite memories from her childhood was being in that very room, and having Van explain to her the entire plot of Casablanca from start to finish. Or perhaps was it To catch a thief? Nat sometimes forgot that she had actually never watched any of these movies. Van's storytelling truly had no match

"How have you been, Nat?" Van stroked her head gently.

Nat hesitated. Should she tell Van about everything? Because if she told her about the kiss, she'd have to explain the beach. If she explained the beach, she'd have to explain Lottie's home life, or the lack thereof.

"I've honestly been pretty fine." Was what she resumed her racing thoughts to. "What about you?" Reverting the conversation back to Van was the best wait to avoid any further questions.

"Good, aside from the fact that I've been biking to school on my own!" Van's tone was humorous, but Nat could tell a part of the girl was genuinely upset about the situation.

"I'm sorry about that. I just haven't been going much." It was the truth. It wasn't good.

"Oh Nat. Nat Nat Nat." Van laid down next to her and took her into her embrace, not once stopping the soft strokes on her hair. "Has your mind been playing tricks on you again?"

"Does it ever stop?"

Van just squeezed her tighter.

"Why don't we change the subject? Think about happier things?"

"Sounds good... can I stay here though?"

"You know my arms are open for you any time. Quite literally." They laughed. Nat closed her eyes for a second, truly appreciating the moment. She was safe. She could relax. She could just be.

"So Van... you and Tai...?" Nat teased her.

"I knew it was coming!"

"You know I had to!"

"Well... it's complicated. I really like her. And I think she really likes me. But right now we're just... sleeping around? I don't know. She says she wants to focus on soccer, but it kind of feels like she's avoiding her feelings. She doesn't even want us to get each other Christmas presents! I already had one ready for her and everything."

"She's my secret Santa." Nat blurted out.

"What?!"

"Yeah! We could trade and then you'd have an excuse to give her your present."

"Oh my gosh thank you!" Van hugged her.

"Who do you have?"

"Laura Lee. Is that okay?"