" Mujhe tujhse zaruri Baat krni h". Maa said patting Shehnaaz's head which was in her lap.
"hanji Maa bolo aap... Kya hua h.. Sab theek h". Shehnaaz opened her eyes as she was relaxing into her lap. She slowly got up and sat facing her.
"shyd mujhe ye Baat tujhse shuru k kuch mahino m hi kr leni chahiye thi...". Maa spoke and her voice was low.
"kya hua Maa... Aap btaiye to"
"kya tujhe divorce chahiye". Shehnaaz was shocked would be an understatement.
"Maa kya bol rhe ho aap". Shehnaaz knew that Maa wanted her to marry Sidharth, or basically she forced him to marry her and now suddenly she was asking this.
"sach bol rhi hu Shehnaaz... Ek saal se zyada hi hogya h tumhari Shaadi ko or tumhara rishtey m bilkul bhi koi badlav nhi aaya h.... Jaise ek saal Pehle tha vaise hi ab h.... Or m jaanti hu ki tum dono hi bhot buri situation m phasse huye ho, decision pura tera h... Koi kuch nhi bolega... Bta ". Maa asked her, her heart was almost breaking because she loved Shehnaaz like her own daughter, a daughter she never had.
" pta nhi maa.... Aapse m jhooth nhi bolungi m kbhi bhi pr mujhe nhi pta... Mujhe nhi samjh aarha h ". Shehnaaz looked at the wall blankly for few seconds, the kiss, the hugs, the care he showed, the way he authoritatively told her not to leave him came infront of her but then all the bitter memories were also there with the barely sweet ones. She was not sure what she want.
"mtlb ye sab k Baad... Bhot ulajh gya h Maa... Sidharth n kbhi mujhe biwi ka darja diya hi nhi... Kbhi bhi humari Baat tk nhi huyi h ache se ek jagah bethke.... Usne mujhe humesha ignore hi kia h.... Pr ab achanak se vo esse haq Jaa rha h jaise m uski hu... Nhi Maa.... M nhi hu uski.... Iska mtlb ye nhi h ki kisi or ko pasand krti hu ya nhi... Iska mtlb ye h ki usne aaj tk mujhe dukh k alawa kuch nhi dia jiske hisaab se vo mujhpe haq esse nhi jata sakta h ". Shehnaaz said looking at her lap, her shoulder were tensed but she relaxed once Maa grabbed her hand in hers.
" m jaanti hu bache ". Maa reassured her.
" pr Maa... Jb hum vaha kho gye the... Hum teen din tk ek dusre se dur the... Ye bhi pta tha ki vo zinda h ya nhi.... Na mujhe Saans nhi aarhi thi ye soch kr... Mujhe nhi samjh aarha tha m kya karu.... Bilkul essa hogya tha ki sab khatam hogya h.... Mujhe bilkul bhi kuch samjh nhi aarha tha". Her eyes started to well up thinking about that incident again.
"pr jb vo finally dikha na Maa mujhe.. Mujhe essa lga ki mujhme vapas Jaan aagyi... Mujhe bhot khushi hui thi Maa.. Bhot zyada.... Or Sidharth bhi mujhse ache se hi bartaav kr raha pr fir mujhe pta lga ki vo esse ache se bartaav kyu kr raha tha...". Tears ran down her face falling into her lap and she stopped to take a deep breath.
" meri Jaan roo nhi, mera bacha". Maa cupped her face and wiped her tears.
" Sanchi mili thi Maa waha.... Sanchi... Sidharth n mujhe bhot ache bartaav kia vaha pe pr vo Sirf Sanchi ko dikhaane k liye tha Maa... Sidharth ko prove krna tha ki vo khush h uske bina... Maa mujhe bura laga tha bhot... Bhot zyada.... Mene essa kiya h jo m Iss cheez fas gyi hu..... Maa uske kareeb aane m dar lgta h.... Bhot dar lgta h". And she finally bursted into tears making Maa move forward and hug her.
"mera bacha... Itna dukhi tha... Or mujhe pta bhi nhi tha...". She rocked Shehnaaz back and forth like a little kid until she stopped crying.
"Shehnaaz ek bolu". Maa said after a while still hugging Shehnaaz tightly.
"Hmmm". Shehnaaz broke the hug and hummed.
