Under The Stars | on-going

Prologue

"To kiss in cars and downtown bars,
was all we needed,
you drew stars around my scars,
but now I'm bleeding..."
– Cardigan, Taylor Swift

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The moon felt lonely being far away from her Sun - even when she knew many relied on her to escape their own forms of confinement, she felt awfully lonely to be placed millions of miles away from her hamartia, her Icarus. Her eyes seeked for him everywhere, amongst all the lost souls that saw her glow, amongst all those who used her presence as a companion to feel less lonely late at night. The moon yearned for the Sun's touch when she felt her desperation peak; for not even the admiring stares of strangers could calm her inner sadness that was constantly eating away her mind, forcing her to shut everything out in hopes that one day she would rise beside her guiding light.

The oceans, the greenery, the wonder of the world - none of them compared to what he made her feel. There was a sense of sincerity that belonged to just them, knowing that no solace could feel like theirs. They were everything the world desired. They were everything the world was afraid of. But of course, with the evident distance between them, they were powerless to their duty when it came to the system of Universe - doing the roles required to make sure that the Earth was still spinning, and that the entirety of their existence was contained; for their love could not be strong enough to overcome their contract with the world.

But she always had hope, just like the little dots of people who'd stare at her from Earth. She looked at the Sun the same way one looked at someone they truly loved. But deep down, she knew that she could hope all she wanted only to be in vain, for being so close to him may burn her to be non-existent. But was it really worth living life behind fears and expectations? The moon was trapped in her own delusion whilst the hegemonic masculinity of the Sun radiated into the world that provided warmth and happy hours at the beach to others.

The moon simply wasn't made to love someone like the Sun. The lonely moon would forever be lonely, drowning in a sea of despair where her lungs would deflate due to the lack of oxygen in the air. And the Sun, oh how could he possibly love someone as desolate as her?

At times, I look up at the moon at night, and see myself in her white reflection. A person constantly overcoming hurdles to reach someone's attention or expectation, only to be let down again and again. There was no denying that I felt as lonely as the moon, staring off into the distance at someone I loved and not getting any reaction back. Perhaps we weren't made to love, because we simply did have the capabilities required for them to fall in the first place. Perhaps we were constantly going to be scrutinized for not standing up for ourselves or defending what we had right over.

The moon and us, we were almost identical really. The only difference is, I'm on Earth while she's up there, floating in space. I'm on Earth, where I'm reachable to face all this criticism. But she's out of touch, too far away in her orbit to even understand a fraction of the remarks made against her.

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