A Kyman Story

Chapter 8

I hadn't really meant to stay as long as I had if I'm honest. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep in Eric's arms. Somehow he managed to carry me up to his bed, because I woke a few hours later with him softly humming a song, the both of us laying in his bed.

"Hey, Jew, you wanna tell me what happened?" Cartman asked softly. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was actually worried about me.

"I'm not sure. I got into it with my mom and just ended up here. My legs knew where I was going before my brain decided." I replied uncertain about everything.

"Well, you're always welcome here if your mom is being—-"

"Cartman if you call her a bitch I swear to Jesus" I replied

"I was gonna say herself, thank you very much and you can't swear to Jesus! You're a Jew you don't even believe in Jesus!" Cartman shot back

"What? We can only swear to things we believe in now?" I asked

"Well, how am I supposed to take your threat seriously if I know you're swearing to a guy you don't believe exists?"

"Ugh okay fine, I swear to satan is that better?"

"No, not really but I guess I'll live with it." Cartman grumbled.

Oh you're just jealous that Jesus and I are like this." I held up my fingers together to show how close we were.

Cartman laughed, "yeah right Jew, next you'll be telling me that you and god get coffee on the weekends."

"How'd you know? His favorite is a double espresso." I joked back

"No way dude, now I know you're lying, god obviously would only drink tea because coffee is caffeinated and caffeine is a drug. God can't do drugs, he's god for fucks sake." Cartman reasoned

"Okay but if he's god, he can do whatever the hell he wants. I mean are you really gonna tell god that he can't drink espresso if he wants?"

"Touché." Cartman replied, then burst into laughter. It was nice hearing him laugh so freely I couldn't help but smile and laugh along.

It had been a rough night however and I was more exhausted than I thought should be possible after taking such a long nap. It was not long before I located my phone and saw multiple missed calls from my mom. I called her back expecting her wrath.

"Kyle I swear, you better be on your way home right now."

"Mom, I'm eighteen and I will come home when I feel like it. You can't shout at me like I am a toddler and expect me to show you any respect in return."

"You live under my roof, so you will do what I say."

"So if I don't live under your roof I don't have to listen to you? Fine, then I'm moving out."

"You don't have anywhere to go and you're still my son!"

"That's not your problem and I'm an adult now. I will be by to collect my stuff at some point. Bye Mom."

"Wait! Don't---" I hung up on her not wanting to hear the rest.

"Did you just tell your mom you were moving out?" Cartman asked.

"Well," I thought about that for a minute, realizing that's exactly what I had said, "I guess I did."

"Where will you go?" 

"I don't know, I have some money saved, maybe I can stay at a hotel for a while or rent something." I sighed.

"Stay here." Eric stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What?" I asked.

"My mom is almost never home anymore and I own the house anyway, the basement is finished you could move in down there." 

"You-- You're serious?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" 

"You hate me." I stated not really believing that fact anymore

"I don't hate you, when we were kids you really pissed me off, but no one should be treated the way your mom is treating you over being gay or in general."

"You seriously would not mind if I moved in?" I asked debating about whether this was a good idea or not

"No, honestly I get really lonely here, especially since my moms 'business trips' keep getting longer and longer."

"Well okay, we will have to go get my stuff eventually though." I groaned dreading seeing my mom.

"We can go get it tomorrow if you want?" Cartman offered.

"Okay." I replied.

We ended up playing Cartman's Xbox for hours after that before passing out on his couch, both of us seemingly not wanting to discuss the reasons Eric had offered to let me move in any further.