A Kyman Story

Chapter 6

I think I might be losing it. Scratch that. I'm absolutely losing it, I need psychiatric help. I think I'm attracted to Eric fucking Cartman.

They way he so softly and casually told my cousins that his heart belonged to me. I never realized he was this good of an actor. I must've been staring off into space for a long while because suddenly Eric was standing next to me and kissing me on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked blushing.

"Your mom was staring at us. Just wanted to give her a show." He winked

"Are you trying to get me killed?" I replied.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yeah I would. That's why I asked." I retorted.

My mom came back over to us.

"You both should leave." She spoke.

"What?" I replied

"You aren't grounded Anymore as long as you both leave right now."

"What? But mom—"

"No buts, you're making everyone uncomfortable. Leave."

I barely recognized her right now. Telling me to leave, because everyone was uncomfortable. It seemed like it was only her who was truly uncomfortable with me having a boyfriend.

"It seems like you're the one uncomfortable here Mrs. Broflovski."

"I do not appreciate being spoken back to Eric."

"Mom he's right, if you want me to leave because you're uncomfortable then say so, because everyone else seems to really like Eric."

"Fine. I don't know why you're choosing to be gay kyle. I am uncomfortable with your life choices and I want you to leave."

"You know what mom. I think you're a bitch. I'll see you at home." I spat out at her before dragging Eric out of the fire hall.

Once we were sat in the car I broke down and started crying. Eric started the car silently and drove for almost ten minutes before pulling over. He slowly pulled me into a hug as I cried.

"I'm sorry Kyle. I shouldn't have agreed to this. I didn't want to get you in trouble."

I sniffled in response.

"Well okay maybe I wanted to get you in a *little* trouble for old times sake."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. As I calmed down I heard my phone ringing, it was my aunt Sarah.

"Hello?"

"Oh Kyle! You and Eric disappeared so fast. I know your mom said you had to get to an appointment but I was wondering if maybe you and Eric would come play with the twins sometime? The twins say Eric promised to show them how to play Wild West? It's all they've been talking about for the last hour."

"Well I can certainly ask him."

"Okay well I'm thinking next week for date night?"

"I'll text you with an answer once we talk about it." I replied

"Thanks Kyle! Give Eric my love, he seems good for you."

I hung up and Cartman was looking at me expectantly.

"What exactly did you promise my cousins? Because aunt Sarah wants us to babysit for date night next Saturday."

"Wait? Really? Because that would be fun."

"You actually are willing to go pretend to be dating and play with my cousins?"

"Yeah. They seem like great kids, very funny too."

"Who are you and what the hell have you done with Eric fucking Cartman?" I asked staring at him

He just shrugged, "guess you'll never know," he laughed.

"Seriously though, they want to play cowboys and I think it'll be fun." Eric spoke once he calmed down.

"Well I suppose if I'm babysitting then my mom can't kill me because aunt Sarah will know something is up if we no show."

"That's so not funny babe, I can't have my one and only boyfriend get murdered. No way anyone would date me after that!"

"Wow. Really feeling the love," I rolled my eyes, "glad to know you'd be so broken up about my murder."

"Hey Kahl, I totally would be broken hearted but just because you're dead doesn't mean I should suffer forever, does it?" He laughed back

"If you start dating less than a year after my murder I'm so going to haunt your fatass."

"Hey! I'm not fat anymore! And maybe I'll start dating just so you have to haunt me Jew!"

We sat in his car laughing until tears were coming out of both our eyes. I think I truly might be fucked, because if I didn't know any better I'd think I was falling in love with Eric fucking Cartman.

"Can I maybe spend the night at yours tonight?" I asked before recognizing what I was saying. "Only if that's okay of course. I just don't want to get bitched at by my mom for hours."

"Sure Kyle. My mom would love for me to have anyone over anyway. She says I've been too much of a homebody lately."

"Can we stop at mine first so I can grab some things?"

"Yeah. We should get off the side of the road anyway, your mom can't murder you if a creep beats her to it."

"Not funny." I replied stifling a laughed

"Uh-huh. I'm hilarious love and you know it."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes thinking about what I've gotten myself into.