10 reasons why I couldn't love you | tk

8

Reason #8

You deserved better.

When I got home that night I cried. I cried for hours under the scolding hot shower which burnt my skin.

I was in so much pain but not as much as I felt in my heart.

I wasn't a person anymore, I had become a joke.

I wanted to rip my skin off. I wanted to claw my eyes out.

I wanted to die.

And you deserved someone who wanted to live.

I had passed out in the shower and woke up in a hospital bed the next morning.

They diagnosed me with depression.

But I smiled for my parents. They couldn't know their only son was a pathetic whore.

I told them I would be fine and I could resume school a couple weeks later.

I thought seeing you would make things better

It only made it worse.

I could feel eyes stab my body.

I had become a centerpiece.

When I got to the student union to pick up breakfast I understood why I got all those stares

My pictures, the pictures from a week ago at that party, my pictures of my unconscious naked body in twelfth grade were plastered on ever corner of the wall.

"This is why you shouldn't have rejected me whore," Jay said as he chuckled and walked away.

I didn't want you to see this. I didnt care if others saw. But you couldn't see this. So I tore them down, with trembling hands I tore them down as others watched.

Some kind souls helped

Yet, you walked in right when I tried to tear the last one.

You saw me.

You the saw the whore

I couldnt face you

So I ran out the other door.

I ran far away.

I loved you

But I hated myself

That's why I couldn't love you