How to save a mess worth saving

A girl

a girl. She thought a lot. About... The wrong things.

Do people like her?

how many of her friends are real?

would she look better like this?

is everyone evil?

Her simultaneous thoughts would keep her up at night, torturing her, slowly depriving her of the small memory space she had left and filling it with thoughts she didn't need but couldn't turn off but she still managed to push those feelings back and force a smile so all her friends couldn't see the monster she could see herself as.

Her perspective

I dried my eyes with my sleeve, I had to go to school sometime or other and sitting on my bed isn't going to help my situation is it. I forced a smile on my face into my mirror, yep, that looks believable enough. Bye mum I said to her not showing my face and walking out the door. Once again my thoughts overpowered me as I sat at the bus stop.

who's going to judge me today?

Personally I was quite liked by my peers. I wasn't the most popular but I had a lot of friends but 98% of them were guys-I don't know why, I just got along with them better than the girls and NO not in the boyfriend way, I guess I was just excepted as one of the guys now. But they all seemed to judge me, the girls and the guys, quietly seeking out the expectations of a human being in year 8 and seeing if you will live up to those expectations or weather your worth the time or not.

I WAS NOT WORTH THE TIME