a field of daisies // jegulus

one

Regulus was alone. Alone. Alone. He always was. But he had Sirius, if he ever came home, the best of brothers. The Black Brothers. Best friends. But that's all changed now. He left his brother for fucking James Fleamount Potter an awful attention-seeking git who was arrogant enough to not realise how wonderful it was for Sirius choose him over the boy he grew up with. Only James couldn't see that. Only he couldn't.

Regulus lay awake at night, always wondering after the awful night. Sirius had been beaten after a shouting match with Walburga and Orion, and Sirius was upstairs crying throughout the whole night, sobbing, sobbing and then he was packing everything. Tears leaking through his eyes as he walked past Regulus who had opened the door. "Reg, you know I love you, but I need to go, I love you Reg, I'm sorry, I have to leave. I'll be back for you soon." With that he had left, Walburga's shouts of frustration and the sound of the table been thrown reached Regulus who sat against his door, hoping to block out everything around him as he drowned in his memories of the happier times.

He was going to Hogwarts tomorrow and he prayed that he wouldn't have to see Sirius or James because he thought he might breakdown in tears at the sight of his brother so happy after leaving Regulus. With James by his side, his new brother because Regulus didn't exist anymore according Sirius and his new life with James Fleamount Potter and his oh-so-lovely family.

Regulus banged his head on the side of his bed and kept it going until he exhausted all the strength left in him. His tears leaving red splotches all over his face and his clothes and neck wet. His sobbing must have woke up Kreacher, though Kreacher never really slept, scared that Walburga or Orion would need him and he wouldn't be there which lead to consequences in the morning and he hadn't wanted to risk that happening again.

"Master Regulus, is everything alright, should Kreacher get some water for you?"

"Kreacher, I've told you to stop calling me Master, and no I wouldn't like some water thank you though," Regulus got out of bed and sat beside Kreacher hoping that the company would help him in any sort of way. "Kreacher?"

"Yes, Master Regulus." Kreacher looked up at Regulus, he had never known that such kindness could be given to him before by a human so he was thankful that at least one could make him feel loved.

"Kreacher..."

"Oh sorry, Reg-Regulus,"

"There we are. Well Kreacher, I was wondering. What," Regulus swallowed his anxiety down, "what did Mother say to Sirius when he left." It was a simple question but so much trauma and sadness was hiding underneath those words, crawling into Regulus' very skin making him shiver and cradle himself like he wished Sirius could do to him again singing their song, not James and Sirius', their song and only theirs.

"Oh, Master... Regulus," Kreacher had stuttered under the soft glare that Regulus gave him not the ones that he got from the others of the family but one that was full of love and understanding but a signal that said "please don't say that."

Regulus would never hurt a creature magical or not, in fact he despised his parents for the way they treated Kreacher, hurting him was no way of taking out there anger and frustration on a creature who had done no harm to anyone. It was barbaric that people could hurt innocent creatures.

"Well... Regulus, she ... she was hurting Master Sirius, he was screaming, pushing her away, it-it was scaring Kreacher so he ran out the room and into his cupboard to hide from the screams. It was scary Regulus, Kreacher didn't want to get involved. Forgive Kreacher Regulus, he didn't want the same to happen to him." Regulus nodded carefully, he zoned out, remembering it again, and again until he fell asleep again leaning on Kreacher's shoulder.

                                     ~*~

"Regulus, you must wake up. Mistress Walburga will be very angry if you are not packed and ready for Hogwarts." Regulus carefully peeled his eyes opened he wiped the sleep from his eyes and grabbed a hair brush, tackling his hair (he gave up after a minute of no progress) he grabbed his trunk from under his bed and opened it. A letter was lying on top of some old folded clothes, Regulus took it gently and ripped the envelope open, a photo and some writing fell out of it. It was a photo of Sirius and James. Happy. Smiling.

Dear Reg

I love you, Reg. And I hope Mum and Dad didn't  hurt you did they? When I left? They weren't hard on you? They didn't threaten you with the Dark Mark?

Reg, do you believe me? When I say that I love you? I do and I truly do. But, I needed to leave and I think it's for the best. Reg, I know you wanted to come with me. We had the whole thing planned out I know, I know, but we both know if I had stayed there for one more minute I would've stayed because of you. I would've stayed for you and not for me or James or anyone. You.

Please forgive me. I wanted to put this in here, knowing you you've probably packed late but that doesn't matter. I just hope you get to read this. And I'm happy and I hope that's okay.

Your brother, 

Sirius.

He loved Regulus? So why didn't he go with him and why didn't he wait maybe one more minute so Regulus could get his things and come? Or was he just so desperate to go back to his other brother. James. Did he care about his real brother. Or was all the hugs another lie and another game to him like everything was. Another game to play while someone gets there heart broken. Just another one nothing special, never was. 

Regulus scrunched it up and shoved it into the bin. He gathered all the stuff around his room and as many books as he could, asking Kreacher to enlarge the inside of course and make it as lightweight as possible. He shoved into the car and waited in the back seat as his parents fussed around in the house, trying to make himself as small as possible. He watched as his father hit his mother as she dropped a plate. Kreacher was ordered to clean it up and he scuttled away.

Regulus was a very observant person he liked watching people, the longer he watched people the more he knew. It was a more of talent as more fidgeting and loud people couldn't achieve such a hard fiet. 

"Regulus get yourself together and focus!" He nodded quietly and shuffled as further back as he could go, closing his eyes and quietly falling asleep as they set off.

AUTHORS NOTE

I'm continuing this story, almost finished the second chapter. I think the mere sight of Regulus will drive James mad and make him come up with these thoughts and make him believe he js likes his hair and eyes and stuff but rly we all know what's going on 😏🤭. (Bi panic).

Also I think that Reggie would be scared a bit of James and how he keeps thinking that he's too pretty and he's angry that he doesn't get the normal type of inferences like if u break eye contact ur weak and stuff like that. I'll be introducing Barty and Evan in the next chapter hopefully 🤞🏻