White Confession

CHAPTER 4

Why is 'falling in' love so easy, and yet so hard 'falling out' of it? Why can't love be undone?

I'm here again, seating in my old seat looking at the back of his head, studying his messy hair and looking at the little mole in his neck. I've memorized his back a long time ago, but I never get tired of it. I wish I did, but why can't I?

I sighed and gave myself a disapproving nod. I didn't want to look at him anymore, but what can I do? Whenever I look at the teacher, or at the board, I can't help but steal a glimpse of him. Why does he have to seat in front of me?

And there they are, whispering at each other's ear and then, Dianne giggles. I frowned and rolled my eyes at that sight. Like duh? I don't care. Why don't they just go and get married? For all I care.

Do I sound so bitter? No, this is just a step so I could stop this feelings.

After battling hard with my mind, I still can't bring myself to face Kevin like I usually do so I kept myself busy talking to other people so he won't take a chance to talk to me.I rather not talk about what happened.

It was break time when everybody went to the canteen. I decided to have a chat with my friends Lorie and Lyn in my efforts of avoiding Kevin. After sometime, I excused myself to them so I'll go to the comfort room for a bit. I was on my way, walking in the hallway when I saw Kevin walking towards me. It was again unexpected! I battled with myself on what proper action must I do to get away from this situation. But I can't think!

What should I do? What should I do? Should I run away? But if I will, it'll be very obvious that I'm ignoring him.

I reached for my phone in my pocket but darn! I forgot it in my bag! I just pretended I was looking at my wristwatch. My plan is to walk pass him like I didn't see him but...

"...Rainielle," he called out. I looked up to him, but I was too shy to meet up his gaze.

"A-ahm,..." stuttering, I looked around finding something to divert my attention.

"Well, I... I want to talk about-"

"-John!" I shouted, cutting him of. John was behind him walking toward us while holding a chocolate biscuit and a coke in can. "I'm so sorry. I have something important to talk about with John. See you around," I said as I ran towards John, dismissing him. I didn't wait forhis answer. I just held John's arm and pulled him to the side.

John threw me a questioning look. He looked bewildered. "W-why?" he finally asked.

"Ahm, just play along," I whispered. "Oh, John did you finish reading the book?" I asked him randomly. He grew more confused.

"What? What book?" he again asked.

"I said just play along," I mouthed as I looked at Kevin in the corner of my eyes. He was still standing there were I left him,just looking at us.

"Ah! The book! I'm halfway over it," John played along. It seems he understood what I was playing.

"So how did you find it?" I did my best to sound so enthusiastic about it.

"Well, it's amazing! Especially when the guy killed the girl!" he answered.

Now, I'm the one who got confused. What story is he talking about? "And then the guy found the treasure!" I just added laughing at how silly and random the whole situation is. I again looked at Kevin and he was already gone. Probably he went inside the room.

I sighed in relief. "Let's stop this," I told John. "Thanks," I mumbled weakly.

"Hey! Come on. Let's talk more about the imaginary book! It's getting interesting!" he exclaimed.