Stranded (Miguel O'Hara fanfic)

8- I'm Mad at my Friends in the Best Way Possible

I fucked up. Really badly.

Miguel misunderstood. Of course I wanted to be with him! But it was impossible- both of us were too damaged, too broken to love each other and throw caution to the wind.

Even if we got together, one of us would leave. And then I would shatter, and my world would end.

But didn't it already?

I already lost him. I could feel it in the nausea that suddenly overtook me, the lightheaded feeling that surfaced when something disastrous happened that I refused to process.

Miguel and I were done.

Already?

I'd already lost him?

One night was all I got. The best night of my life, and then the morning when my life ended.

Really, universe? You hate me that much, huh?

I'm not giving you that satisfaction.

I crawled down the side of the building faster than should be possible, determined to catch up to him. I couldn't lose him. Not now.

It took hours to find him. I checked everywhere, even in the penthouse we stayed in the previous night. It was cold and deserted. I refused to look in the bedroom, where'd we'd been comfortable and blissful mere hours ago.

Finally, when I headed towards the pit, I found him on the building he'd knocked the tower off of earlier. His head was in his hands, and he was facing away from me.

He no doubt felt me approaching, but didn't turn around.

I sat down next to him, looking at the destruction. Dead bodies of the bats, the cracks in the road from the fallen tower. In the distance, the fire web glowed brightly, keeping us safe.

'Do you remember the first time we worked together?' I asked. 'It was on that mission with the team, while taking down the anomaly on earth 8890. It trapped us in an underground labyrinth and it took us hours to get out.'

I sighed, leaning back on my hands and staring up at the sky. The snow had stopped.

'I thought I was going to die that day. The labyrinth was never ending, and funnily enough, both our watches were dead. We fought a never ending onslaught of monsters, finally destroying the power source in the middle of the labyrinth which saved that earth.'

Miguel was still staring off into the distance, not looking at me. I just continued.

'I can't count the amount of times we saved each other's lives that day.' I looked at him. 'That was the day I fell in love with you.'

He let out a tiny flinch, his hands curling into fists. We sat in silence for a few minutes, reveling in the memory. I wondered what Miguel thought.

'Do you wanna know what I fell in love with?' When he didn't answer, I just continued.

'I fell in love with the way you always positioned yourself at my back, never letting me get caught off guard. I fell in love with your power, which took you years of pain to build. I fell in love with the ferocity that makes you worthy of being the leader of the Spider-Verse.

'I fell in love with the look of relief in your eyes as you stared at me, the labyrinth melting all around us, and you pulled me into a hug. And thanked me for keeping you alive. Back then, I was shocked. Because the reality is this, Miguel: you've not only saved my life, but you gave me a reason to continue living.

'A reason that still holds true today, even if my fear of losing you made you think otherwise.'

Tears welled up in my eyes as seconds passed and he still didn't look at me.