Outlaws of love

Tommy's nightmare

I was in fereign room. The walls were yellow. I was lying on bed. Adam's scent was still perceptible in the air. I stood up. "What am I doing here?" nobody answered me. I uncovered the window. The view outside was horrific. There was blood and guts on street and... Oh My God! Julie! But she was pale and a little greenish. She came closer to me. I was glad that window was separating me from her. She was a zombie. Wait! There was no glass in the window! She catched my throat.

"Why?! Why you did it to me?! ... I loved... you... so much... You're a male slut! You lied! You were lying all the time! You never loved me!" she yelled. 

"F-for-g-give m-me" I stammered.

"Never!!!" she bit my neck 'causing me to scream in pain.

"Tommy Joe..." I heared voice. "Tommy, my Glitterbaby, please wake up!" It was Adam. I opened my eyes.  I saw Adam's face above mine. He had wet trails on cheeks. "I was worring about you! What happened?" he hugged me tight. "Was it nightmare?" I didn't want to talk. "Tell me, Glitterbaby"

I stood up leaving Adam alone in my bunk. How could I let him kiss me? Why I kissed him back? I still love Julie... or I lied? Maybe my nightmare was right...

I looked door of the bathroom. I sat on the floor letting my tears falling down. I saw red line on my left hand... my scar... maybe it's not so bad idea? I opened the locker. There was my casket. I opened it and bring photo out of it. On photo was John - we were friends in high school. When I started playing for Adam he told that I'm changed. He left me. My only scar is made 'cause of what he said. Under the photo was the one thing that I wanted...

...razor blade...

I held it and slowly put it to my skin on my left hand. At first I made only one line. But after almost minute there were two crimson words. "MALE SLUT" like Julie called me in my nightmare. I stained the whole floor in blood. I tried to dry it but I couldn't. My hand was hurting as fuck. I laid on the floor. I felt wet but I had no strenght to stood up... to fight...

"Tommy Joe! What are you doing?" Oh, no... ADAM! I felt cold in my body. I heared noise and Adam went into the bathroom. "Glitterbaby, what have you done?... Don't fall asleep! Don't close your eyes! Please..." I saw his pale face... my Babyboy... It could be my last chance to see him. "Tommy! Don't leave me... I love you" 

I don't remember what happend next...