Well, you might be thinking, "What has happened in her life that was SO bad?". Let me tell you, It was hell. Pure, hell. When I was younger, I had no friends. No one wanted to play with me at "play-time" in preschool. I had to sit out and watch everyone play. Do you know how i felt? I felt like no one wanted anything to do with me. Like everyone hated me. I cried frequently. My mom always told me, "Don't worry hun! Soon enough, when you are in elementary school, you'll have tons of friends! Promise!" I believed her. When elementary school came, NO ONE even dared to talk to me. "Momma, you lied!" i sobbed. She lied. She promised. Why wouldn't anyone talk to me? A simple, "hi." No. First and second grade was the same. Same shit. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why? I wasn't a bad person. Why was i so lonely? Only the teachers talked to me. Then, came third grade. we moved to a nearby city. It was the first day of my new school.
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"Okay class, sit where ever you like. If you're good today, you can sit there for the rest of the year!" The teacher, Mrs.Lanzano announced. Akward. My first day here with not yet saying a word to anyone, and everyone already had a friend to sit next to. There were little tables that two students could sit at. I shyly walked to the back of the class, finding a table since every other was full. I sat down and looked down at my notebook, shy to make eye contact with anyone.
"-sitting here?" a voice asked. I looked up to find a girl my age with dark brown hair, with brown eyes. her hair looked naturally pretty, with bangs covering her forehead.
"W-What?" I stuttered, shocked that someone was actually talking to me.
"I said, is anyone sitting here?" she emphizied on "here" while pointing to the chair next to me.
"N-No." I replied.
"Well, then i'm sitting here." she smiled. "I'm Demetria. But you can call me Demi, that's what my mommy calls me." she giggled.
"Okay." I responded.
"What's your name?" she asked, interested.
"Rosellia." I stated.
"Ro- Rose- I'm gonna call you Rosy. Ok?" She decided.
"Okay." i smiled to the fact that this girl was actually talking to me and nick-naming me.
"This is my first day here, and it sucks!" She rolled her eyes.
"Oh." I really didn't know how to respond.
"Is this school fun?" she asked.
"I dunno. It's my first day here, too."
"Oh, well.." she started to think. " Since it's your first day here, and it's mine too, and we don't know anyone... Wanna be friends?" She asked, hopefully.
I froze. i was surprised. She actually wanted to be my friend. MY friend. I was so happy, but i hid it. I did not want her to think i'm wierd. "Umm.. yea, sure." I smiled.
She put her arm around me and smiled, " I'm glad! i have no friends here so..."
"Yea, me niether." I said.
For once in my life, I actually went home with happiness and a huge smile on my face.
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Demi and I had a great friendship together, all up until eight grade. I started gaining weight. A LOT of wheight. So much, up to the point where I wheighed 198 at the age of thirteen. I felt ugly. I felt disgusting. Useless. I felt like no guy liked me. Then girls started pointing and laughing. The guys would give me grossed-out looks. Demi told me that I was beautiful, to don't pay any mind to anyone. But they were right. All those names, were true. I tried diet & working out. It didn't work. I tried not eating anything but chicken, fruit, and veggies. Nothing. The bullying became worse as i entered high school and i became depressed. I would come home everyday, go straight to my room to cry myself to sleep. My grades droped. My parents became concerned. Demi was worried. She defended me, but nothing stopped the bullies. It came to a point where I started....Cutting. Yes, cutting. It's stupid, I know. But... I relieved some of the pain. The kids in my school realized and called me "the ugly, fat emo girl." I had enough of being over weight. I stopped eating. I only ate breakfeast, wich was a cereal bar. I only drank water. Sometimes. I had to go to the hospital because my organs were not getting nutrients and my body needed food. I lost alot of wieght. A LOT. At this point, I felt worse than ever before. I felt like i was useless. Like everyone exept Demi and my family wanted me dead. Demi tried to cheer me up, make me happy, take away the depression. Nothing worked. i was in my own little dark world where you can never be happy. The only time that I was a little happy, or not depressed was when I was with Demi, because she made me smile. and when i was on tumblr, blogging sad pics. Then, I saw a gif (moving picture) of 5 attractive boys singing and jumping in a beach. The caption read "One direction, What Makes You Beautiful.<3" Who were these boys? I typed in One Direction on google, and ended up on youtube watching a video of a song called "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. Ever since that day, I came home, eager to watch their video diaries and funny moments. Soon enough, I stopped re-blogging and posting depressing "emo"pictures, and started re-blogging and blogging one direction gifs and pictures. I stopped cutting. I started eating. I started...smiling again.Its like those boys pulled me out of my miserable hole of darkness, into a world of being a directioner. I... I was happy again. And that is what I want to write about.
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Soooo i uploaded! Did you like it? Comment or vote if you did! No? Alright. Please? Maybe? Yes? K.
