Forgive me: An Aonung story

The fight

I made sure I was up early this morning for Ronal, I didn't want to disappoint her, although I didn't get much sleep. I kept replaying what happened last night in my head..why was Aonung so upset.

I quietly walked out of our pod as I don't want to disturb anyone. I slowly walked over to the beach when I saw Aonung with his friends, I gave him a small wave but he just gave me a look of disgust as he turned away and laughed with his friends.

I was going to say something to him when Ronal soon appeared by my side, "good morning" I say with a slight smile, "something wrong my child?" She asks kindly. "We can't work well if you're not in the right headspace" she says urging my response, "I don't know..Aonung won't talk to me. He found out I was betrothed last night for some reason he was mad" I say as I look to the floor. "Walk with me" she says as she starts to walk off.

"I know our customs are very different, so you may not have known. The other day I saw you two together. When a boy will pick a girl up onto their Ilu..well it generally means she is spoken for" the woman speaks my cheeks start to blush.."so finding out you were betrothed..well probably hurt my sons feelings a bit."

"Ronal..I am so sorry. I didn't know" I say, I didn't want the woman to be mad at me. This was her son! "I do not blame you my child. I do not know of your situation but you do not know of our customs so you wouldn't of known." she spoke kindly.

So ever since I've been here..Aonung chose me as his? I do not even know how to feel.. I think I like him. But I can't. I'm not allowed. What would Ikàlu think, what would my father think, my family would be so disappointed in me. Ikàlu would be so disappointed on me..it's too much.

"My child, please do not worry. Would you like to speak about it. I am no family to you so I may be able to offer advice" she spoke kindly, I smile at her gesture "I wouldn't want to burden you with my troubles. Especially since we're out here to train" I say, I wanted her to know I could be responsible. "Training can wait, please sit with me" she says as she gestures to a rock.

I carefully sit next to the woman as she spoke, "you know sometimes speaking to someone that doesn't know you personally helps. You have no responsibilities with them nor emotional attachments" she spoke as she gently took my hand, "I am a mother who is often good at advice" she says smiling, "so please speak to me. No one should ever show as much worry as you are."

I let out a deep sigh, "ever since I was little..I got betrothed to a boy I didn't even know. My whole life lacked the freedom I wanted, I wanted to grow to love someone rather than it be forced. Ikàlu is a friend. Not someone I can love..I started to accept him just before we left..and well I'm now just so confused because-" I pause thinking about what it is I really wanted to say, I didn't want to over step "please continue, I shall not repeat a word" she says reassuring me.

"I'm so confused because..I think I like Aonung but how can I know when everything has been chosen for me. I never got to feel, it's all too confusing" I say as I hung my head low, it's the first time I have ever been so honest. "Sometimes we must not do what's right but do what we need for ourselves, make yourself happy not others" she says with a smile.

"I must say, your smile while you were with Aonung is something that could not be faked. To me my child it speaks a lot" she says as she slowly got up off the rock. "Go for warrior training, I will see you tomorrow" she nods her head as she bid me goodbye.

I sat here for a while in my thoughts..did I truly like Aonung. But how could I when I would be disappointing everyone, do I go for something unknown or stick to the safe place I had always know? I couldn't ponder in my thoughts too long as I had some training to do.

I make my way over to the warriors grounds where Lo'ak and Neteyam stood. Kiri was never big in fighting so she very rarely trained. "How was Tsahík training?" Neteyam asks by my side, "oh Uhm..good" I could only hope he wouldn't see through my lie. I couldn't tell him the truth, he just nodded his head at my words.