My Brother My Enemy

Shower...?

Namjoon's POV
Flash to a year later:
A year had passed since we started as trainees. We were at the point where we just wanted to show someone that we were ready, but the company still had no word if we were ever going to get that chance.
Y/n and I had graduated, but we didn't attend the ceremony for obvious reasons. She went back to visit her family a few times, but yoongi and I were still being given the cold shoulder by ours. At this point it pretty much felt like the guys and y/n were our only family. We moved into a dorm so we could practice more often, plus it helped save cost on rent. Y/n moved into a smaller place close by that didn't smell like the bar downstairs, she delivered food to us almost every night and even volunteered to take pictures of us for free. The label didn't seem to mind, so it was nice we still got hang out. She had gotten close with the members, which was inevitable since we were always together.
"What's on your mind," she asked me while pretending to take pictures to not get us in trouble.
I had been off the past few days worried about some things, should have known I wouldn't be hiding it very well when it came to her. "Do you think it'll happen?"
"What?"
"Do you think our debut will happen?"
She gave me a glare like I was being stupid, "Don't."
"I just feel..."
"Stop it!" She snapped. "They're counting on you. You can't say those things anymore. And if they starting talking that way, you do everything you can to give them hope."
I knew she was right but I didn't know how to get out of this head space.
"Are you free after practice?" I asked her. "Feel like I need some fresh air."
Practice ended around ten that night, so y/n and grabbed food and headed to the Han River. We took a seat at a picnic table and before she could even take a bite, I unloaded on her.
"Being the leader sucks," I said. "Like I want to be positive, but sometimes it just feels like we're never going to get there."
"Some things are out of your control," she said. "But I don't think any if it is a waste of time. I mean there's plenty of roads you can take with music. But I honestly believe what you want will happen."
I looked out onto the river and tried to get my thoughts together, the pressure was really getting to me.
"Why did you come here in the first place," she said with a mouth full. "Isn't this better than being in college and competing with the other sons out there for a spot at some desk job? Plus you can dance now." She raised her eyebrows at me waiting for me to laugh, which I did.
"It is better. I just hope it's not all for nothing."
"If it was for nothing I wouldn't have pushed you to get on that bus. I would have just kept listening to you make up raps in your room in secret. Which I loved."
"Loved? Really?"
"Just waiting for you to rap about me one day," she said casually.
Little did she know, most of my raps were about her already. I just had a way of making it seem like they were about something more so she wouldn't get suspicious. Maybe one day I would feel confident enough to actually record one and not hide that it was about her, or how she made me feel.
Just then her phone rang and Yoongi's name popped up.
She answered it quickly, like she was trying to hide his name. "Hello?...I'm with Joonie, can I meet you later?...Ok just come by whenever. Bye."
"Everything ok?" I asked.
"Yoongi just wants to hang out later."
At this point it wasn't weird that the two of them had a real friendship, in fact she had gotten to know the rest of them group just as well.
"Can I come? I know I see him everyday, but I feel like I haven't gotten just hang out with him in forever."
Y/n took a minute to answer, and without looking me in the eyes she said, "Actually, maybe I won't go after all. Kind of tired from today, plus I work all day tomorrow."
"Oh, ok?" That was weird, I thought to myself. I decided not the dwell on it though and just focused on being with her now instead. Maturity was starting to finally settle in. "We should make nights like this happen more often. I really miss hanging out with you."
Y/n looked up at me and smiled. "I would miss me too."
We parted ways when we got to her apartment, I didn't walk her up because she insisted she was fine. I headed back to the dorm and couldn't wait to go to sleep. When I got inside jin and jk were already asleep , Tae was watching a drama in the living room, and jhope and jimin were still at the studio. I looked around to see if Yoongi was home yet but I assumed he was with the guys practicing. I texted him to make sure but after an hour I still didn't have a response. That was nothing unusual for yoongi, but right before I got in bed I remembered how weird y/n got when I asked to tag along with her and my brother. Did she lie about not really wanting to see him? I pulled my phone back out and called her, knowing she would answer because she always has her phone in her hand.
"Hello?" She said softly. It sounded like she just woke up.
"You sleeping already?"
"Who is it?" I heard someone say in the background.
"Are you with yoongi?!" I asked her.
"He stopped by, we're just..."
I hung up the phone before she could even finish her sentence. My head started spinning with all the times in the past year the two of them have been with each other. Sure, he could have actually just stopped by her place, and I'm sure nothing is actually going on between them, but my gut was telling me y/n was keeping something from me. Maybe they both were.
I threw on a hoodie and shoes and decided to walk to y/n's place. If yoongi could come over "unannounced" so could I right? It only took about five minutes to get to her apartment, and because I had been there a ton already, I just put in the door code and walked right in. When I got to her door I could hear the TV from the other side, so I tried knocking before walking in. No one heard me, so I put in her passcode and opened the door.
"Hello?" I said. No one answered. "Y/n?"
No one was in the living room where the tv was blaring, in fact there was no sign of anyone anywhere.
"Hello?" I said again.
I turned off the tv and heard water running. When I walked to her room the door was open but empty. I noticed her bathroom light was on and the shower was going. I decided I didn't want to scare her when she came out so it was probably just best to head back home. I felt silly for thinking the worst of the two of them, when I saw that she was home alone after all.
When I turned around to head out the door I noticed a pairs of men's shoes on the floor. My heart sank. I walked back into her room and noticed Yoongi's clothes. My heart started racing, I didn't know whether to freak out or shut down. My feet were stuck standing there while I was trying to make sense of what was happening. All I could do was picture them together. My stomach felt sick. I ran out the door as soon as I realized I didn't want to be there when they finished doing whatever they were doing on the other side of that bathroom door.