Pure Innocence.

Chapter fifteen.

Aayda

Waking up in Xanders arms was like I imagined heaven would be. I was warm and very comfortable. With us pressed together until our legs parted and there layed Stasia. It was amazing.

After we got in the car I was in and out of sleep still so I answered every every time he tried to talk to me with a 'mhm'. I didn't even listen to the questions but the last time I answered with 'mhm' he laughed and didn't ask anything from then on until we went into the drive-thru. When he asked what I wanted I was going to order food but then I thought about how I ate with my dad and then I almost ate that bowl full of sugar and I let my thoughts take over once again and ordered a water. My stomach chose the worst time to growl but I don't think he heard it until right now. He took my water out of my hand and replaced it with a smoothie without saying a word.

Surprisingly im not feeling angry, im feeling cared for. Im feeling cared for by a person I just met, and he doesn't even know about my ed. My mother can't make me feel cared for but a guy I just met does, what the hell.

"White truth?" Xander talks and I just now realize that I have been starring at this smoothie getting lost in my thoughts for at least a couple minutes now, long enough for him to put down both the mcgriddles he got. We didn't really get into our personal live when we asked each other 'naked truths' yesterday night, we only got to the colors, food, dessert, and siblings which I already knew about him.

"Sure." im getting nervous seeing the look on his face seeing that his question probably about my favorite colors anymore.

"Do you live with the person who put that bruise on your face?"

"No, I moved out about a year and a half ago when I just turned sixteen." For some reason I didn't feel like I had to hide it. He nods and picks up his water. "My turn, when did you and Lucas become friends? You guys seem like an odd duo." I see the corners of his lips come up just a little.

"Lucas and I met freshman year and we both played hockey. When he started working for my father and our business we would work together sometimes and although he's annoying he didn't make me want to kill myself or him  every time he talked to me. No one else ever was able to do that so I kept him around, and shortly he became as close as we are now."

I let out a laugh. "Do I make you want to kill yourself or me?" It goes quiet for a second.

"neither my turn, why did you move in with Lilla?"

I take a second to think of my answer "Because mom asked me too and I was already at there house most of the time so it just made sense." I look at Xander and can tell he wants more but isn't going to press. It's not that I don't want to tell him but it's that it isn't the reason why I moved with Lilla, I moved in because of the reason I told him. It may have got me away from my mom but that wasn't the reason I did, it may of been the reason they offered but that wasn't the question. "My turn and this is a weird one but your really good with Stasia so do you want kids and if yes, how many."

"I do want kids but I don't. I don't want them to inherit the things that I had to. But if I did wind up having a family I would want a large one but it is up to how much my wife is willing to pop out." he says with a laugh at the end. I have a lot of feelings about his answer, I feel what he means by inheriting things and I melted for a second when he said it was up to his wife, I also love that he said wife. "My turn same question, do you want kids and if yes how many."

I waste no time answering this one. "No, I don't."

"Why?" he says and it makes me look to my side and he is looking at me.

"If I answer I get to ask two questions whenever I want." he nods and starts to pull out of the of the parking lot and I take a breath, this is when he finds out. We hit a red light and I pull up his hoodie and lift the tank top I had on to show my yellow, blue, and purple skin and when he looks his jaw clenches. "Because the abused become the abusers." I take a breathe as the light turns green and Xander starts driving again and then continue again. "If im being honest with myself don't think I would ever lay a hand on my child. I always wanted to be a mom but when my mom started mentally abuse me and Lilla and her mom pointed it out when I told them and then the first time she laid a hand on me, I never wanted to bring a life into this world that would ever hurt like I hurt that night. It didn't hurt when it happened physically but mentally I was broken beyond repair. I don't think it's fair that you had no choice to come into this world but want to get out because of the person that made that decision for you."

I take a breath not having the guts to look at Xander. "So if I could get all of the voices out of my head about my mom then yes, I want children. To answer how many, more then one for sure and if it's not to painful have as many as I could properly take of and how many me and my husband want." I feel myself smile that I actually said it out loud, and get the guts to look at Xander after about five minutes of silence.

He looks lost in his thoughts but he is smiling and his smile is gorgeous. We sit  in comfortable silence the rest of the ride and once we get to my house and I jump out and say 'thank you' in a mumble before I go inside with my smoothie.

When I get inside my dad is still asleep which im happy that he wont ask me why I wasn't home last night. I check my phone and I don't have a lot of time. I quickly retouch my concealer and then decide to wear the same thing to school and grab my backpack, keys, phone, and wallet before heading back out the door.

When I step outside I see that Xander's Jeep is still there. I go up to his drivers side window and he rolls it down. "Why haven't you left for school?" I ask before he gets a chance to speak. A look of confusion goes across his face. "I just thought that you would leave and drive to school and leave me to drive." I say sheeply because that is genuinely what I thought.

"I thought we could drive together since I was already here. You can drive yourself if you want I just thought that I don't know what I thought." He looks flustered, I have never seen him flustered, I like that I make him flustered.

Without a word I go to the other side and hop into his jeep once again. Xander looks at me if surprise for a moment before backing out and driving to the school. I grab the  and loom at Xander and he just nods. I play my before school playlist to get waken up and tie my hair in a messy bun before rolling down the window.

We arrive at the school shortly and me and Xander both get our stuff before exiting the car. When we fall into step with each other I look up and notice A LOT of people starring. At the same time Xander leans down to my ear level and whispers "you'll get used to it after awhile." and for some reason that comforts me a little but at the same time not at all. Not to mention the fucking ocean between my legs from him whispering in my ear.

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A/N:Hello babesss!!!!! I will try and post a lot because I leave for camp for all next week and wont be able to have my phone or computer!! I love you guys though and get ready for some DRAMAAAAAAAAA. Love you!

word count:1463

Bye babes and see you in the next chapter!!