Pure Innocence.

Chapter eighteen.

Aayda

Waking up and knowing it was friday was a gift from god to be honest. This week has been... a lot to say the least. I can't stop thinking about Xander. He invades all my thoughts. Our last in person conversation in his car. The constant texting. The time we spend not texting is when I went on my mission and when im sleeping. 

When I go to the gym I catch myself checking my phone and texting him back in between sets and keeping my phone on the counter in reach when I shower. Is that bad? absolutely. 

I can't let this get out of hand anymore than it already has. Me and Xander couldn't work. I am a murder and assassin. If we were to ever get together I would tell him because he would deserve to know who he is dating and I can't build something off of lies. I am actually very happy that he brought up that game. It makes me more comfortable with him for some reason that I can ask something as heavy or as light as I want and get a truthful answer. 

Telling him about something I have only told four people about and not being forced was a very huge thing for me. With Lilla and Max after they saw my bruises in the gym eighth grade year they made me tell them what was happening. At the time I thought it was normal. They made me tell my dad eventually and I told him and Lilla's mom at the same time, about a year ago. I have known Xander for five days. What was I doing?

As I am getting ready for a run I get a text from Xander.

Xander: Hey can you spare some time for me this morning before school? Hockey practice got conceled last minute and I already put Stasia down with my mom.

Me:Yeah im going on a run, you can join me or come by in about thirty minutes?

It was 5:07 in the morning and I normally spent a longer time than 30 minutes running but I wasn't going to make him wait and hour and a half for me to get done.

Xander: Im ten minutes away from your dads. Are you there or at Lilla's?

Me: Im at my dads. See you in a bit.

The fact that he was only ten minutes away sends butterflies to my stomach. Was he really that confident that I would say yes? This is a run as friends. Just friends. right?

When he pulls up the sun is starting to rise. This is my favorite part of running in the morning. It's not hot or cold. It's peaceful and I can just run and not worry about anything. He exits his Jeep and walks towards me. His hair is a mess probably from sleep and I didn't notice it the other morning when we woke up, it was to dark and he probably ran a comb through it when he was in  the bathroom getting ready so I didn't get a chance to see it. It's sexy as fuck.

He stands there waiting for me and when I pass him to get to the sidewalk he follows without a word. I quickly stretch my legs and then begin running. I keep my headphones waiting for Xander to talk or tell me why he needed to see me this morning but he never does. He just runs with me. He keeps up when I speed up or slow down and keeps my pace almost perfectly. By mile six I need a break. I come to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk and Xander also stops. I alternate between holding my hands behind my head and bending down hunched over.

I then realize I never let my mind wander on this run, I just ran. I missed when I did that. For two years all my runs and workouts were filled with my thoughts and emotions. That was the only time I let them slip, I never cried but I would speed up and sprint or do more reps than what was needed for my set when I got lost in my own head, my own prison.

I look at Xander and he is already looking at me but I can tell he is lost in his head, he didn't notice I looked up yet. Once he did he offered me his water and I took a couple sips before handing it back to him. We stand there for a second before I break the silence. "White truth?" he simply nods his head for me to continue. "Why did you want to meet me this morning?" he looks at me for a second.