Winter Soldiers New Mission

1

"If I were to ask you this one question, would you be able to truly answer it? Here, give it a try. Can a survivor of  trauma truly be pieced back together? Or are they able to forgive what happened to them and move on throwing what they can into the trash and continue on with their life? until other parts of trauma they didn't deal with reveals itself in the worst moments.

A hard question isn't it? I-I don't even know what to call myself.... It feels as though James Barnes is dead, he died in 1945. I'm not the winter soldier either,  I don't want to be him, yet right now he is still alive in me. The winter soldier is not dead, he escaped his prison... So if that's the case what do I do?

Even after I...I escaped hydra the paranoia I feel constantly consumes me. Moments of my reality mix with the little memories I have. I'll be eating one minute and the next I'm staring at the bread in my cell back in hydra... I don't know what my reality truly is...

Bucky never thought after his battle with Steve and his escape from Hydra would leave him with so much distress, both mentally and physically he struggles. He wants so badly to have his memories back before Hydra. In fact he would rather forget the bloodshed they forced upon him while under their control.

After his battle with Steve he finds himself back at the museum, the museum is filled with memories no matter how hard Bucky tried he still could not recall. Sure he remembers Steve being a sick scrawny man who always got himself into fights. Or Steve so badly trying to join the military with Bucky, jeez how many times did Steve get rejected? Bucky knows it was a lot but the exact number he has no clue.

He can recall Steve some way or another being accepted into the military, one day he's scrawny and sick the next he's taller than Bucky and packed with muscle....

More parts of his memory are missing; he can recall Steve saving him and Bucky's battalion, then it skips to falling off the train and nothing, the feeling of cold he remembers but all that's next to hydra.

If he ever hears, sees, or is involved with Hydra in some way it will be too soon for him. The thought makes him angry but as he looks at the old pictures of him and Steve, he feels warmth in his chest. Bucky smiling at Steve in the picture makes him sad but happy he's not sure why he doesn't know why or what setting the picture was taken of them. After a while of trying to remember he decides to call it a day he's been out in public too long, if someone is looking for him he's sure now would be the time to go.

with that he leaves the building. He knows Steve could be looking for him as well.... The thought saddens Bucky as he doesn't feel ready to talk and re unite their friendship, Bucky has a lot of mental and physical baggage he doesn't want to push on to anyone... The PTSD is hard enough but the night terrors have been sending his mind back to that of the winter soldier and he really wants to avoid hurting anyone around him.

Maybe leaving the country will do him some good for a while...

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A dark figure in a dark room surrounded by big computer screens, the figure looks back on current news reports that could possibly expose their organization; they have now lost their chance to carefully show the public how humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom.

Now the public knows hydras true colors, the assassinations, exposing the winter soldier and now the public knows that we still exist and even infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. our plans have been foiled.

As the dark figure scans over the public's reaction, his door opens, heels can be heard clicking through the spacious room. "I assume you have the mission report I requested?" the dark figure asks the woman expectantly. "Yes sir" she hands him the classified paperwork waiting for any other request.