leyah i been in deep depression for real. I haven't talk to nobody in a month. i don't want too because all they gone do is pity me and ask questions, i don't have time for that.
i been reading the group chat , they made plans but i didn't wanna go. so they're going tonight but i don't know where . trust me it's not a problem i like being alone.
i think imma go out to a restaurant by myself. i wanna have a drink or two ALONE. let me start getting ready.
i do my makeup , just lashes and lips gloss. i'm not that big of a makeup person. i then put on this silk black dress then touch the floor and some black heels. i grab my wallet because i do not carry purses. i grab my car keys, i turn off every light in my house and get in the car.
im on my way to the restaurant and i'm just listening to music. i hope i don't see nobody i know at the restaurant, i really don't wanna talk right now. or at all.
i stop at the restaurant, i look at my appearance and look at the place. ouu this is pretty. i get out my car , grab my wallet and lock the door.
i walk in the place and i tell the waitress my order and she takes me to my booth. all this for me. lil ole me. i love lil ole me. i tell the waitress to bring me their finest drink and some shrimp because i love shrimp .
i start analyzing the restaurant, you know just looking around and stuff, its beautiful here. whoever design this place , builds had to be payed because they ate. i feel eyes staring at me i turn around to look and it's this man. not these ninjas again.
just then he starts walking up to me, i think not satan no no no way. no because what. i'm gay leave me alone man , i hate it here. because i don't want him and ik he finna come with all that hey sweet lady and shit. bitch my gf will kill you.
" hey sweet lady" he says, smirking. see look i told you. i hate it here, i wanna die for real. like oh my god, man give me a break.
" im gay and i gotta gf and she shoot people " i said, giving him the biggest smile to ever exist. i mean i wasn't lying... i know billie is into something with the mafia , because of the symbol on her like hip like beside her cooch and it's a dragon.
" you just ain't had the right man yet" he says. SEE NO, i just know. satan please get away, man i don't wanna have to deal with creepy old men at night.
" Bye get away before i shoot" i said. i got my gun in my stocking, um don't ask. i keep it there every time i do some like this and i'm by myself. i cock the gun enough for him to hear and smile. he leaves frantically.
the restaurant is a little noisy, im bored. what if somebody fell right now. i laughed loudly at my thought and then i felt eyes , OH MY GOD. as i looked the whole friend group here. i hope no i felt the whole table turn to look at me
billie looked worried and mad and sad. girl oh my god i don't wanna be here anymore.i would pay on the way out. i got up and started walking fast as hell , i ain't never walked this fast before.
as i got to my car, i felt a hand on my wrist or arm. i turned to look and it's billie. i just put my head down and stare at my foot. my toes not interesting but they gone be interesting today.
" you look beautiful " she says. i miss her and her voice and that d- , right now is not the time. NOT THE TIME.
" thank you" i mumbled , still looking at my feet because I'm not looking at her, i can't control eye contact man especially hers.
" so you wanna tell me why you ghosted everyone and not tell anybody if you're okay or not" she says , softly. i hate that question , i just stayed quiet. because i don't know but i did.
" mama" she says softly and quietly. there goes that word again that makes me wanna just melt. and just sin. tell me why my eyes watering, now i'm finna cry.
i just shrugged cs i didn't know. she lifted my head up with her hand. she just looked at me. girl. don't. no cause why i feel a tear go down my cheek.
" oh baby" she said. as she pulled me in for a hug. i didn't even do nothing, i just cried. because first of all , i've been going through a lot. second i got a call a month ago saying my fav granny died and third , well there isn't a third.
" imma be right back " she says. i just stand there and check my appearance because ouu bitch you a ugly crier damn.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
