As It Was (COMPLETED) (wattys2023)

Before You Go

It took a week and a half for my father to fully convince me to return to school. I was still stuck in a constant state of fight or flight and had slept less than six hours in the last nine days. Garrett had been out too, refusing to go outside of the football game last Friday. Once Monday rolled around, I found myself sitting out on the wall at lunch, arms wrapped around myself, one of my sneakers digging into the brick wall and the other on top of it. Within a few minutes of me sitting and staring out over all the cars in the parking lot, I felt something fall on top of my knee and turned to find Garrett hopping up on to the wall beside me.

"Hey." he offered a weak smile, swatting away an overgrown weed. I took the fabric he'd laid on my lap and held it in the space between us.

It was a school jersey-his football jersey if I had to venture a guess. "What's this?"

"One of my spare jerseys." he stated the obvious, "We have a game Thursday. I know better than to ask you to try and make it, but I thought maybe you'd want to chill in my garage after?"

I lifted the jersey up again. "Doesn't really explain what this is for."

"I wanted to take some fabric paint to it. Figured it'd be cool to look back at in a few years."

Not having the energy to try and pry further, I set the jersey on the brick between us. Shifting uncomfortably in the silence between us, I shifted my body in his direction and broke it.

"Mr. Andrews thinks I should send in a portfolio to RISD." I wasn't sure why I said it to him. When I brought it up with my parents, they'd been appalled. I think there was a hopeful part of me that knew, like all else in my life right now, this was something Garrett would whole heartedly support me in.

Sipping at his energy drink, he tipped it in my direction with a nod, "I agree, I mean, your work is incredible, Ev."

"But my talent won't matter." I looked away from him and to the overcast sky. "They'll see my name and immediately disregard it. I'll always be viewed as their little sister, never my own person."

Garrett is quiet for a while, sipping on the drink and stuffing half a samwhich in his mouth as he considered what I'd said. Finally, he sighs and says, "I doubt that. If Mr. Andrews is speaking so highly of you, they'll have to look at it. And if they don't it's their loss on great talent. Remember that, Ev."

I snuck a quick look over my shoulder at the football field before I trained my eyes on Garrett again.

"What about you? Mr. Andrews said he talked to you about it too."

Garrett's shoulders tensed but his expression remained unchanging. "I already have a couple full ride football scholarships lined up. Mom has been crying tears of joy over it for the last couple weeks. As much as I love art, football is just what's more practical for me and my family right now."

"But you don't like it."

These words catch him off guard and he finally met my eyes and the guard drops. "What do you mean by that?"

"When you talk about football you always look so miserable. But the second you conversate about anything art related there's this spark in your eyes."

He frowned but didn't tear his eyes from mine as he responded, "I used to play with my dad, then it became for him. But after Rose died he took off. He hasn't been to a game since."

I extended a hand over the jersey and touched it to the top of his resting on the can at his side. "I understand, I do, but I think you should give Mr. Andrews offer some more thought. Tomorrow isn't promised and you might not get a second chance. Do what you want, Garrett. Follow your heart."