Countdown - Isac Elliot

Epilogue

Jasmine's POV

"Are you ok , " Fredi asked from the front .

"Yeah , I'm fine ," I forced myself to sound cheerful .

It was funny how two words could hide so much .

It was funny how easily you could lie to someone , without them finding out the truth .  

I wasn't fine .

I was far from fine .

I felt numb .

Like I had no feelings left in me , whatsoever .

I pulled my sleeve across my wrist again .

They were sore .

The scars had suddenly reappeared again .

I buried my face into the tightly wound scarf , around my neck .

I closed my eyes again .

I knew it wasn't fair .

I knew I shouldn't of left like that .

After I saw Isac , I walked out the room .

I held my head up high and didn't look back .

It was too painful to look back .

To look into those chocolate brow eyes , all it would do was remind me of the memories .

Being weird together , talking till like 3 am , cuddling together in bed .

Just being with him .

It was all too much .

I walked back into my hotel room and flopped down onto my bed .

A sudden urge of self hate came upon me like a tidal wave .

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my blades .

I started slicing .

Slowly but then I gradually grew faster .

Every slice and cut meant another word .

Another hateful word I was .

"Ugly , Fat , Stupid , Worthless , Trash , Bitchy ,"I muttered over and over again .

I slid down the sink and started sobbing again .

Loud , heart wrenching sobs left my mouth and filled the rooms .

God knows how long I sat there for .

All I remember is crying until I had no more tears left .

I guess I must of dozed off but I woke up again at 10 pm .

I got up and propelled myself towards the bed .

I had no energy left whatsoever .

I sighed thinking " Thank god I've already packed my damn bags , "

I just lay there on my bed .

Staring at the ceiling for 2 hours .

Over thinking everything again 

I couldn't close my eyes for too long .

All I could see was Isac and Noora .

Maybe he was better off with her .

Maybe god got it wrong .

Maybe Isac wasn't meant to be my soulmate .

Maybe he was meant to be Noora.