I always knew (TAMBER, Tara x Amber)

Chapter 15: back again?

Pov Amber:

I eat then go up to my room. Richie calls me

"hey Amber are you home?" he says
"Yeah, I just got home and ate" I say.
"Oh cool, I'm coming to Woodsboro on Friday...! Can we meet?" He says
"Of course we'll see each other Richie" I say

I put him on speaker and get into my pajamas while we talk.

"What are you doing I can hear you from a distance" he says
"i put my pyjama" I say
"Why don't you call me on facetime when you do that" He says, laughing.

I know he's laughing, he's doing it on purpose. Richie really doesn't know how to flirt with a girl

"Don't go there Richie" I say laughing.
"I forgot you prefer women" He says.
"You're wrong, I never said that" I say
"Whaaat" he says
"I'm not in love with a gender but with a person, I don't care if it's a guy or a girl" I say

It's true that my parents gave me an excellent education, I'm very open-minded and I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm even proud of it.

I feel like i really like Richie, we talk all the time, we call each other all the time, he's always there for me.

We start talking about Tara again, about the choices I have to make. I'm torn between going back to her or never talking to her again.

On the one hand I love her so fucking much and on the other I hate her because she did something horrible to me. I don't know if I can forgive her for that.

We chat with Richie for a few more minutes, then I hang up.

I text Tara.

Me to Tara:
Come to my house now if you want to talk

She replies directly

Tara to me:
I'll be there in 15 minutes, I'm leaving Mindy's right now.

I go down to my living room, turn on the TV.
She knocks on the door, I open it for her and we sit on my sofa.
No one speaks, she looks at me but I look away.

"Explain yourself," I say.
"apart from apologizing i don't have much to say... I'm so sorry Amber I've had the worst week of my life, I'm not saying that you didn't had pain at all. That night I was sad and he came to comfort me after you left and that's how it ended..." she says.
"so every time you're sad I should stay with you until you get better because if I don't, you'll cheat on me?" I say
"no... Amber..." she says

When I look at her, I can see that she's sincere and blaming herself, but it doesn't go away.

"I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were before you did this," I say.

she cries, I look away

"Tell me what to do Amber I swear I'll do anything you want, just tell me" she says
"you can't do anything Tara, it'll take time to maybe be able to move on and forgive you" I say.
"I don't want to be without you Amber, I really don't" she says
"I know" I say

my heart hurt me so much

"you should go home" I say as I stand up.
"Amber...I don't want to go home" she says
"Please" I say.
"I can't leave because I don't know if you'll let me talk to you again" she says