ᴋɪssᴀʙʟᴇ ʟɪᴘs

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ

Hyunjin's pov
I am numb, I lost track of time some time ago, I'm sobbing so hard that I feel Chan's wet t-shirt's fabric pressing to my cheek.
Chan is sitting on the floor with me, embracing me so tight that I would like to live there forever.
Maybe if I stop crying he'll leave me again, maybe when I stop he'll call me a cry baby. Maybe he will think I'm weird. Maybe he's just pitying me.
Whenever I think about it over and over again, my tears keep going. I don't know why they're not ending yet. How are they still coming out.
I feel him pushing me a little away from him till my face is visible to his sight. He uses one hand to brush my hair from my eyes while holding my shoulder with the other.
"Hyunjin, baby, what's wrong? You know you can trust me."
A hiccup leaves my lips with a sigh. I feel rivers gathering on the edges of my eyes. "Don't talk to me like that, don't call me that. Please" the plea comes out as a whisper with no energy left.
"Why not, tell me, don't keep it for yourself."
"I can't trust myself enough to tell you now, please I need to rest. I feel like my soul is leaving my body."
He says nothing, but he lifts me up.
Everything he does hurts me. I need him away, but to stay with me.
"Hyung, it hurts, everything hurts. I need you beside me, but I need you to stay away from me at the same time."
"What had I done wrong to gain such a reaction from you. I would never leave you, especially on this state."
"My eyes are burning."
His gentle hand touches my forehead.
"You all is burning baby, you shouldn't have cried so much. This is a sign for me to stay by your side."
Oh how much I hate but love him.
I'm such a contradictory at this point, but I can't help it.
He leaves the room, I knew he would leave.
I think I'm being dramatic, he's here again.
My eyes are literally burning so I close them.
I feel wet clothes on my forehead and all over my face.
"Now please open your mouth to take this medicine." he requests. I immediately open it because I not in a state to argue.
I remember all the pain I've had during this night, my head was killing me, the burning and the ache.
But one thing comforts me, his presence.
I need him to know how he's my life, how a dream have made me realize how madly in love I am with him.
I know that Chan doesn't know, but mentally I'm still dating him.
Now one more question pops to my mind.
I open my eyes slightly, then my mouth, it's dry.
"Please, water." after drinking, I open again to talk this time.
"Hyung"
"Yeah?"
"Are Leeknow hyung and Han dating?"
"My only wish for the moment is to know what were you dreaming. No they're not!"
"Oh.."
I close them again, turn to face the other side of the bed.
My bed shuffles beside me. I'm pulled by my waist.
Chan's hard chest pressed against my back.
"You think you'll escape me today?"
His smell, my favorite scent, the one I used to cherish on my dream. I inhale deeply.
"My thoughts would never escape you after everything that happened." I whisper.
"What do you mean?" his breath brushing against my ear.
"Nothing for now, I need to sleep."
"Okay Jinnie."
What he does next, make me forget all colors of sleeping, he pecks the nape of my neck.
My inside screams, but I force myself to forget.
I'm so tired..