𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 • kuroo x reader ✓

𝐱. 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬

»»——⍟——««

x.
a n a g a p e s i s
no longer feeling affection for someone you once loved.

»»——⍟——««

The slip of paper lies dead in Kuroo's hands. It used to have your written message on it, telling him to take his pills, but the more time Kuroo spent accepting that he was hallucinating the majority of the past month, the more he started to experience the real world.

He's both amazed and horrified at how strong his mind is, being able to conjure up such convincing hallucinations from memories that were lost in his subconscious — not lost, but hidden. They were hidden and waiting to resurface.

But how can the human mind fabricate something fake from something real? It's this question that often visits him now that you aren't. A part of him still refuses to believe that his life without the antipsychotics is reality because the hallucinations he experienced with them felt so real.

It's been five days since he had his talk with Kenma. After learning that it was a car crash that led to his memory loss, he developed a fear of ever stepping back into his car. He's surprised that only a few days ago, he drove to his friend's house without any hesitation. It'll be long before he builds the courage to drive again.

At least Kenma was able to confirm that you are real. It's just that Kuroo doesn't know if that's good or bad, because it means that you were once his but are no longer.

He crumples the paper in his hand, opens the trash bin under the kitchen sink, and tosses it inside. There's no need in keeping the useless thing now that there's no more meaning to it.

Turning on his heel, Kuroo's eyes fall on the pill bottle sitting in the middle of his dining table. He's been taking his antidepressants regularly, according to the new doctor's instructions. And, as much as he doesn't want them to, they've been helping.

He's been living the past five days with no hallucinations — at least, he thinks. His mood has slightly improved as well. The only problem that remains is that he still can't sleep at night.

He doesn't know what's holding him back. Maybe it's the denial. Maybe it's the loneliness. Maybe it's the grief of knowing that he lost someone in his life that he once loved.

Though his visit was short, Kenma was happy to see his friend, even if he looked miserable and more tired than ever. It meant that he was still alive, and he wouldn't be alive without you, because it was you who called the ambulance.

But, it was also you who crashed the car. It was you who didn't visit Kuroo in the hospital, and it was you who decided to run away from everything and leave the city. These are the reasons why Kenma kept the story under the rug for so long.

Kenma's mind was already set. If he were to ever see you again, he wouldn't give you the light of day.

A breeze sneaks through the balcony door and sweeps through Kuroo's dorm. He can see the campus library from his seat, with large windows that used to showcase bright lights. It's at this moment that he remembers that he has a book to return that's definitely long overdue.

»»——⍟——««

After two hours spent convincing himself to leave his room, Kuroo finds himself at the campus library. It looks different from the last time he was here, the night he met you — or rather, the night he hallucinated you for the first time.