Frost

you make me begin

Hyuka.

Yes?

Can I call you that?

Huening Kai blushed, looking down. His shyness was refreshing, and Yeonjun found himself smiling at it.

"Hyuka." He tested the name out loud, surprised with how easily it fell from his mouth. "It's cute." He said. Like you, his hands signed, just to see that pretty blush again.

The late spring rays warmed his skin, and he laughed softly, inexplicably happy.

The debt collectors called that night, banging on the doors and calling out his name in nasty voices. They demanded money, demanded interest, demanded everything you could possibly imagine, as the rest of the dorm slept on, unaware of him shivering in bed, eyes wide open and hand on his car keys.

Ready to run. As he always was.

As the nightmare faded away, he slowly evened out his breathing, closing his eyes.

Think of something happy, he told himself. Happy.

Kai's face came to mind, his youthful smile and gentle hands, moving slowly so the elder could understand him.

He had been patient that day, as Yeonjun struggled through a thought he wasn't quite sure how to form. The younger's cool fingers had clasped his own, correcting the sign with a gentle smile. He was never anything but happy, it seemed, at least not with Yeonjun.

No, he always had that light smile on his face and stars in his eyes. His dark hair fell into his face, and stayed there, no matter how many times he stubbornly pushed it back. He bit at his lips when he was nervous, and every moment with him felt warmer than the last.

As Yeonjun concentrated on him, his mind slowly cleared, the shadows retreating, until he was lying in bed, grinning like a fool.

Smothering his smile with a pillow, he attempted to sleep.

Soobin-hyung says you're gonna hurt me.

Does he, now? Yeonjun smiled, a little bitterly, as he thought of his cousin. I don't think I can.

It was an admission he wasn't ready to make – an attachment he hadn't been aware of forming. What happened to the nothing-sticks-to-me Choi Yeonjun?

But Kai had. He somehow stuck to him, and as the younger boy looked away, his own face betraying a sliver of sadness, Yeonjun shivered, like a cloud eclipsed the sun.

"I won't." he promised out loud, taking Kai's hand in his. It felt warm, and the sun returned as the boy smiled, the world righting itself again.

It was scary how dependent he was becoming on that smile.

The more time they spent together, the clearer it became – Choi Yeonjun had a dependency problem. A big one.

His heart sank on days he couldn't see Soobin's roommate, and his mood would plummet, making him twice as irritable.

The old ahjumma in the cafe he frequented sighed when he shuffled in on those days, head down.

"Lost your sunshine, summer boy?" She'd ask, clucking her tongue. "Tis of no matter. Come, come, it's nothing a strong cup of tea can't fix."

She'd hand Yeonjun an apron and a steaming hot cup of her aromatic tea, and send him to work behind the counter, teasingly snapping her towel at him. "Now, now, don't sulk. That face will scare the customers away!"

Sometimes, they all hung out as a group, and Yeonjun was forced to distribute his attention evenly between all his newfound friends.

They all looked up to him now, even Soobin, as the moodmaker. The fun and reckless friend that got you into trouble, but you had so much fun you didn't care. It was cute, to see their puppy eyes on him as they talked about a beach getaway, or exploring an old amusement park.

"C'mon, hyung!" Taehyun tugged at his sleeve, whining. "Take us to the beach!"

"Take yourself, what's that got to do with me?"

"Bastard." The younger boy turned away, mock-mad. "You're the only one with a car."

And Yeonjun would watch them sulk, exchanging a humorous smile with Kai as the younger boy popped a grape in his mouth, sitting in the shade and watching Taehyun beg like a puppy.

Yeonjun drove without a care. The car was old, and not his, and the road was a literal dirt track stretching out forever in both directions. What was he going to do, miss the water? Impossible.

Next to him, Soobin screamed with laughter, windows down and hair wild. In the backseat, Beomgyu and Taehyun competed to outscream each other, heads poking out the window. Beside them, Kai laughed until tears ran down his face, watching them all with an expression full of so much love Yeonjun nearly swerved off the road.

How did one person hold so many positive emotions?

They got to the beach, and ran out, shoes off and sand sticking to their feet as they sped towards the water, splashing each other and letting out yells of joy.

Summer.

Yeonjun smiled, picking up a small seashell off the ocean floor. It was tiny, nothing special, but shone a baby pink, with a small hole near the top.

Fishing a small thread-like cord out of his pocket, Yeonjun tied a knot on one end, stringing the sea shell on. When he looked back up, all 4 boys were on their asses in the water, wrestling.

Snorting, he looked down in search of more shells.

Apparently his distraction became his downfall, as a few hours later, he felt something in his pocket move.

He froze, aware of the suppressed giggles coming from his right.

"Bin-ah!" He called out, eyes wide as his pocket, once again, moved. "CHOI SOOBIN!"

The man was bent over, holding onto his roommate for support as laughter contorted his face, tears falling. Next to him, Beomgyu was silently judging a shirtless Taehyun. Or maybe he was admiring him – it was hard to tell in the setting sun and the boy's RBF.

Wordlessly, Yeonjun reached into his pocket, in absolute shock when his hand came in contact with something slimy, and shapeless, like jelly. It's disgusting, but also intriguing, as he takes the jellyfish out.

Soobin finally loses all composure at seeing his face, and falls in the sand, laughter leaving him in pieces with a face redder than the rosy beach sunset.

They wave the jellyfish goodbye before leaving, the second-oldest passed out in the backseat as Kai rides shotgun, happy and content.

His smile warms Yeonjun, who hums a quiet song, trying not to stare at his necklace around Kai's neck, the way the row of shells sits against his pretty skin, or the way his wide eyes hold more stars than the night sky.

His hand sits on the gear shift, knuckles turning white with the effort it takes to keep it there, to prevent himself from reaching over and taking the younger boy's hand.

The scary part was that he didn't think Kai would mind. And he couldn't bear to start something he'd have to leave. Not with someone as sweet as Kai.