Frost

a house is not a home (but you are)

He realized how deep he fell when he found himself sitting in the dorms, on his bed, pouting at his notification-less phone, waiting for a certain someone to text him.

It was pathetic, how eager he was for that quiet little ping that opened a new world to him. How quickly his mood lifted when the small circle next to Kai's profile picture turned green, and the three dots appeared to indicate he was typing.

And as their conversation ended, and the green circle turned grey again, Yeonjun's smile faded. The dorm suddenly felt a few degrees colder, and goosebumps lined his skin.

The bright light of his phone screen turned off, leaving him in the darkness, staring off into space. It was well past 10pm; his roommates all slept soundly.

At that moment, an irrational fear seized him, taking hold of his heart and shaking hard. Yeonjun could hear his mother's mocking voice in his head, laughing at him.

Suddenly, he was a little kid again, crying for the umpteenth time as his mother packed their belongings into a ratty black suitcase.

"Aww. Did you get attached to your little friend, Danny? How cute." Her nails dug into his skin, sharp and insistent as she pulled him behind her. "You should know better by now, pabo."

Dropping the suitcase by the door, she ran to the kitchen cabinets, throwing their little wooden doors open, searching.

"Where the fuck is it?" She muttered, seething. "I swear I had more left."

"You drank it yesterday." Yeonjun mumbled, looking down at his feet.

Her suspicious eyes fixed on him, and she abandoned the cabinets, coming closer, grabbing his cheeks between two skinny fingers. Forcing his head up to look her in her crazed, bloodshot eyes. "You took it, didn't you? You little good-for-nothing brat." She hissed in his face, squeezing his cheeks harder.

"I didn't." It was no use crying, that only enraged her. "I really didn't."

She let go of him, disgusted. "Why can't you grow up quicker."

Walking to the door, she grabbed the suitcase again, leaving the apartment without checking if he was following.

Now, her voice still haunted him as he sat on the bed, the very same black suitcase stashed under his bed.

"Did you get attached to your little friend, Danny?" Yes. Yes he did.

"You should know better by now, pabo." He should. But he didn't.

The fear didn't go away the next morning, when after a restless night, Yeonjun still could feel the cold hand around his heart, squeezing slowly. He felt like if he phoned Kai now, he'd find him gone. He feared that the boy was taken from him, and no rational reasoning could get him to drop it.

He needed to see him. Now.

Instead of turning towards his morning job, Yeonjun found himself texting his cousin to let him know he was coming over.

Kai's mouth formed a little 'o' of surprise when he opened the door. His eyes lit up, and he stepped back, letting Yeonjun in.

Morning.

Morning.

He looked soft this morning, in his lilac hoodie and untamed bed hair, sleep lines still creasing his face.