oneshots for boynextdoor!! started: june 1st, 2023. finished: january 14th, 2024.. includes: fluff, angst, all sfw!! member x reader. proper spelling & grammar. [this is pure fiction and does not represent the real members or their personalities] 🫶...
╔══════════════════╗ KIM DONGHYUN ✎ v. crack under pressure ╚══════════════════╝
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"And the first place winner of the annual KOZ math competition goes to... Kim Donghyun!!"
You felt a tinge of disappointment as you heard those words for the fifth time this competition season. You felt nauseous watching the boy walk up on stage, a perfect smile forming on his face, brightening up the room. You wanted to be as perfect as him. You would never even compare to him, though.
You could feel the tears starting to build in your eyes and you panicked. You didn't want to cry at another event, it was embarrassing. You tried to breathe steadily, focusing on Leehan's melodic voice as he thanked the judges and took his trophy. He turned and smiled at you and your heart got caught in your chest.
You rushed out of the auditorium. When you reached the bathroom, you were already heaving in harsh coughs. You hadn't eaten much that day so there wasn't much to discard, but it was still painful. You sobbed and sunk to the floor of the fancy bathrooms in the school.
You were mad at everyone. At Leehan for being so perfect, and your parents for pressuring you to beat him when they knew deep down you couldn't, but most of all you were mad at yourself. Why couldn't you take the losses like a normal person? Why did you always cry and throw up and feel so sick after every competition? You were so tired of it.
You heard a soft knock on the door and looked up from your position on the floor, wiping your tears off your face hastily.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" It was Leehan.
Your throat got tight again and fresh tears threatened to spill just from hearing his voice. Why was he always like this?
"Y/n? Can I come in?" He whispered, waiting for your answer. You couldn't find it in you to speak just yet. Your throat felt raw and burned from your body's actions just minutes ago. "If you don't answer, I'm gonna come in." He said finally. There was another pause for about 2 minutes before you finally heard the door latch clicking open and light streaming into the rest room where you still sat on the cold tile floor.
"Y/n..." You looked up, hearing your name fall from his lips. He looked horrified. You had never seen his eyes hold such obvious worry. He was by your side in an instant, pushing back the hair that had fallen in your face and rubbing circles on your back.
"Leehan..." You whispered, feeling all types of disgusting, both physically and mentally. You wanted to flinch away from him, scared at the thought that he was seeing your imperfect side, but you didn't have the strength and it would only scare him more.
Leehan crouched next to you for the next twenty minutes, waiting patiently until you calmed down fully, his hand never resting the soft motions on your back. The little action made you realise that you liked him a little more than you originally thought, and that came along with a twinge of disappointment knowing that you didn't feel good enough for him.
⎯ ୨୧ ⎯
The next day in class was a hard one. Despite Leehan's soft smiles whenever he made eye contact with you, the loss of the previous day still held firmly in your mind. You couldn't concentrate on your tests in class, let alone the lessons. You had always found getting straight A's to be easy, but you now felt as if you didn't have any more effort to put into your grades.
Leehan was probably the first to notice your change in demeanour. The competition day was constantly playing on repeat in his brain. He could read you perfectly from your eyes which was both a blessing and a curse for him. He cared about you more than you knew. Whenever he could tell that you were struggling it tore him up inside, but you were so good at concealing it that barely anyone else picked up on it.
"Hey," Leehan mumbled, taking a seat in front of you and carefully passing you a chocolate milk.
"Hey..." You replied, keeping your eyes firmly situated on your notes. You had already spent too much of the day staring at the pretty boy in front of you, any longer and he might notice.
"Are you doing better?" There was a softness in his tone, portraying just how worried he had been. Your heart swelled a bit as you toyed with the small carton of chocolate milk. Should you tell him the truth?
"You won't tell anyone, right?" You asked, glancing up at him.
"I promise I won't." He held out his pinky to you, offering a pinky promise which made you smile. You connected your fingers and stamped on it. Leehan didn't let go of your hand, instead lacing his fingers with yours and placing his hand back on the desk, prompting you to start talking whenever you felt ready.
"My parents put this immense pressure on me to do well... And when I was younger, it was manageable. But, everything is so much more competitive in high school. No matter how hard I try, I just... keep falling behind." Your words were getting quieter and more mumbled as you felt your nose start to burn and tears start to surface. You furiously tried to blink them back. You had already cried in front of Leehan one time this week.
Leehan squeezed your hand gently, picking up on the switch in your body language quicker than anyone else ever would. Leehan prided himself in his observation skills, and if there was anyone he wanted to observe, it was you. He found himself starting to make small circles on your smaller hand with his thumb, hoping to provide what little comfort he could. He felt that he was being rather obvious with his hopeless crush on you, but that was the last of his worries at the current moment.
He stayed with you for the rest of the afternoon, listening to all your worries. He didn't try to solve your problems. He knew that would only stress you out more. He just lended you his ear to listen to your concerns, and his hand for you to hold. And that was all you ever needed.
With the help of Leehan, you built up the confidence to quit your competitions. With the promise to focus on your academic record and keeping your grades up, your parents, surprisingly, understood where you were coming from.
Leehan promised that he would make sure you didn't overwork yourself, and he kept up with it like his life depended on it. He would study with you, enforcing mandatory study breaks every hour. He would treat you to lunch or dinner, and always walk you home. What was once more of a rivalry was starting to feel more like a friendship. Leehan was the most comfortable to be around, and your feelings only grew for him everyday.
"First place: Kim Donghyun!" You mimicked one of the judges' booming voices, teasing Leehan about his win at the science fair earlier that day. He was walking you home after dinner, the sun was just starting to tuck itself behind the horizon line, a glowing orange and pink sunset lighting up the sky before being consumed by a deep dark blue. Giggles came next out of your mouth and Leehan felt his heart speed up at the sound. You were happy again.
Leehan stopped walking, turning his face to you, "Your laughter is so... pretty." Your heart caught in your throat at his words. The way he smiled at you made you feel almost dizzy. You didn't know what to do except stare at him. He looked too perfect, like a Greek God; face perfectly sculpted, smile gorgeously crafted with the power to make you feel sickly in love.
He pulled you into his arms, getting shy from your gaze on him and needing to hide his pink cheeks somehow. The position only made you more flustered, though. He was so, so close. The thought of kissing him was on your mind, but you knew you didn't have the confidence to do it.
Luckily, Leehan did. He held your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours slowly, carefully. His lips held all the sentiments that he hadn't said out loud.
