Wicked Heart (Brazen Bluestockings #1)

Chapter 16: Never The Same

How could her parents have lied to her? Ivy paced back and forth along the grassy clearing by the lake, with Darcy following her like a tail. Her whole life had been a lie. Angrily, she wiped away an errant tear. She didn't want to cry. Didn't want to be sad. She wanted to be angry. Furious.

Who was she if she was not Ivy Edwards?

Another tear trickled down her cheek. Again, she wiped it away. She stopped pacing for a moment, and Darcy whined next to her. Meeting the dog's brown eyes, she felt her lower lip tremble. Blast it!

"What about you? Are you not who you pretend to be, either?"

Darcy cocked his head to the side while staring up at her, and she instantly regretted her outburst. Bending down, she scratched him behind the ears.

"I'm sorry, boy. You've never lied to me." She sighed. "Unlike everyone else."

The sound of hooves hitting the path between the trees made her look up, and a moment later, Sam came into view. Her heart beat faster. She wasn't sure she wanted to see him. He had brought those... Those people to her doorstep. My parents. But they weren't her parents. She knew her parents. Lucy and Charles Edwards. They had been the ones who brought her up. They had been the ones who consoled her when she scraped her knees. They had been the ones to kiss her good night and tuck her in every evening.

She stood her ground as Sam dismounted and unhooked his walking stick from the saddle before leaving the horse to graze. His gaze took in her dishevelled state. Her dress was muddy, her hair had come undone from running through the forest, and her eyes were red and puffy.

"What do you want?" she asked when he said nothing.

He shifted slightly, putting a little more weight on the walking stick. "I wanted to see how you're doing."

An abrupt laugh escaped her, but it had a panicked edge to it she didn't like. "How do you think I'm doing, Sam?" She hesitated before adding sarcastically, "If that's even your name."

"It is." He took a step toward her. Not wanting to be close to him right then, she backed away, and he stopped. A shadow crossed his face. "Most of what I told you is the truth. I only didn't tell you my true reason for being in Tilbury. Everything else; my name, my past, is all true."

"You came here to investigate Orchard Cottage. Did you feign your interest in me to do so easier?" She shook her head as she backed another step away from him. A thought occurred to her, and she gasped. "What of the night I found you in my father's study? You weren't there because you wanted to see me, were you? You were there to find evidence!"

The look on his face was answer enough.

"Ivy..."

"No!" She wiped away another tear. How could she have been so foolish? "Tell me I'm wrong."

He groaned and looked heavenward before taking a deep breath and meeting her eyes. "I was there to investigate, but Ivy..." He made a wry face. "Whatever reasons I may have had to be in that room that night, I never lied about how I felt about you. Everything I said about not being able to stop thinking about you was the truth. You are special to me, and I'm so incredibly sorry that you feel betrayed now. I would have told you if I could."

She wanted to believe him. She did. What reasons would he have for lying at this point? But her heart was bruised and she wasn't ready to forgive him yet. "Why didn't you tell me once you found out the truth?"

"Honestly?" He ran his free hand through his thick hair. "I had hoped that you would never have to find out. You seemed happy and the Edwards obviously love you like their own. I saw no reason to upset your life when I believed you were Highwood's illegitimate daughter. I thought I could return to London and give my report, and your life would continue as before."