Masaya ako sa ganoong set up namin until one day, he gave up on my attitude daw. That I always had doubts on what we have, na honestly, I don't know kung ano kami or maybe alam ko pero ayaw ko lang aminin sa sarili ko na panglandian lang kami. I unfriended him. He removed my "Mom" role. My children (the active members) started asking me if we broke up. Sa isip ko,
"How can we broke up? We're not even officially together."
"Hello? Official magkalandian lang kami in public."
I tried explaining my side to them. My side of the story and I was blaming myself. That Dan was serious with me but my insecurities were clouding my judgment and marami akong unresolved problems personally, etc. I was trying to protect him when some of my children said harsh things about him. I heard them say,
"Babaero po si Dad, Mom."
"Minsan may mga kalandian sya sa private vc."
By the way, I'm a working adult and living in the Philippines. Magkaiba kami ng oras ni Dan. As much as I want to be with him sa server, I really just can't. Madalas niya akong hinihintay makauwi before sya matulog at natutulog siya ng 2 AM or 3 AM sakanila para lang masamahan ako sa gabi. Kung totoo man iyong mga narinig ko then, I really was at fault. Kulang ako sa oras, wala ako when he needs me. I accepted it. Ako ang mali.
I was still active sa server nya eventhough we were not talking na and we avoided each other sa general chat. Kapag nakita kong nandoon sya chatting with the members, hindi na ako magchachat, babasahin ko nalang mga pinag-uusapan nila. I was there, I was invisible. Sinasamantala kong maging active kapag alam kong natutulog sya.
One day, may teenager from his server na may personal problems and nagmessage sa'kin privately but we were also chatting sa public room ng server, and Dan probably saw it many times. Nagulat nalang ako, that I was banned from his server.
"What happened?" Tanong ko kay Jack. Sya iyong teenager na kausap ko.
"You were kicked out from the server." He answered and sent me screenshots of conversation in the server.
The active members were asking about me, and Dan was telling them that I violated the server rules. Kahit ayaw kong gawin, I sent a friend request to him para makapag-DM ako sakanya, to clarify or maybe explain myself a little if meron mang need i-explain. To my surprise, he accepted my friend request. WOW!
"Dan, what server rules did I violate? Why did you kick me out?" I've sent it to Dan at nakaka-disappoint lang ang sagot nya sa akin,
"You were too sweet and the staff felt it's cringey."
"I didn't know being sweet is a crime." Reply ko.
"Well, sorry if you were not informed when it's clearly on the rules. You should've read the rules." Sa way ng pagchachat nya parang naiinis sya sa akin.
"Is it about us?" Tanong ko.
"This is my server. This is not about us!"
"It's not fair! There should've been a warning first."
"It was a unanimous decision from the staff. You can't blame them. Again, this is not about us!!"
Galit agad, Kuya? Nagtatanong lang naman ako, di ba? Daming tanong sa isipan ko because I felt it was unfair. Hindi ako marunong magmura pero parang gusto ko. Grabe naman kasi! Napaka-sweet na pala ng pangangamusta sa taong may pinagdadaanan sa buhay, at simpleng pagtatanong kung kumain na ba sya, encouraging him to open up to someone he trusts and reminding him na hindi sya nag-iisa at 'wag niyang pababayaan ang sarili nya. Napakabata rin ng kausap ko na iyon. He was 15. Hindi naman sensual ang topics namin. And never sumagi sa isipan ko na magjowa ng mas bata pa sa kapatid ko. Sorry, I feel like I'm ranting here now, but until now, I'm still upset about it.
After that incident, I moved on and had friends with another server. To my luck, I met a friendly Filipino guy, a nursing student abroad. 20 years old sya. Pinoy na naman, right? But this guy knows how to speak Tagalog. Unlike Dan na na-embrace na ang pagiging Hawaiian at nakalimutan na ang salita natin. Kenneth has a group of friends which later on, naging mga kaibigan ko rin. Masaya silang kausap, chill lang, biruan ng todo-todo pero hindi nagkakaasaran. A group na mixed ang mga tao kaya lahat pwedeng pag-usapan. Even religion and politics ay hindi problema sakanila at hindi pinagmumulan ng away. It was great discussing differences and not pushing your beliefs to one another. Napakahealthy ng usapan. When you say something, they'll listen.
There were five guys, and three girls. Dalawang Pinoy, tatlong Canadian, isang Puerto Rican, isang Spanish, may American. Hindi ko na maalala ang mga names ng iba. Ang natatandaan ko nalang ay si Kenneth at Salvador. Si Salvador na cutie, nililink sya sakin ni Kenneth palagi kapag may group video call kami.
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My Discord Love Story
Short StoryDiscord became my go-to app for the last more or less 5 years. I used to hang out with a lot of people personally but this app has a lot of knowledge regarding cultures, traditions, beautiful people I've met and had conversation with, there's a lot...
