It's funny how my brain plays tricks on me. It uses the memories of us to fool me in my dreams. I wake up after a nice day with you, where my hands are in your hair and you take them out and hold my hand, then hold me. They're sweet dreams, but turn bittersweet when I wake up and remember the reality of our situation. You're neither here nor there, we're not together but to a degree we are. I still check my phone for your name every morning, and I roll back over if there is silence from you. Seeing you in person and feeling your arms around me again takes me to a completely different place. I hate when I am not in control, but with you it's okay. I trust you with every fiber of my being, and it's so safe in your arms. Until I remember the reality of our situation, and my brain does its tricks again. I miss you, and I miss us, whatever that means today.
