Change of Location - Pedri González

xix. reconsideration

***

Despite her third strike, things had started to improve for Clarissa.

She pushed herself to improve. Real Betis was everything she had. Clarissa had been with this team for years - though she didn't know what the future held, she knew she didn't want her temper to be the thing that forced her from the club she loved most. She owed it to herself to become better.

Clarissa had always had a bit of a hidden temper.

She remembers when she was younger and her dad watched a lot of Formula One. Back then Fernando Alonso, native Spanish driver, had his own period of dominance, and because he was Spanish and a big deal in Spain and Clarissa was young and thought he was fiery and interesting and a cool driver — because all kids care about is who is the cool person — she preferred him to other drivers.

Because he was slightly known for his temper, Vincent Diaz did not let Clarissa's moods go unnoticed. "Hija, if you're wanting to follow Fernando's footsteps, you're playing the wrong sport" — was amongst some of the comments. Even now, she still gets them, and proving Vincent's point about her attitude, she often rolls her eyes to those comments.

So, if anybody ever asks Clarissa who her sporting idol is she, a footballer, would probably say Fernando Alonso just to confuse them all.

"I think I need to... leave."

The words shocked Clarissa herself as they came out of her own mouth.

Because it was the first time they'd come out of her mouth too.

In front of her football coach.

She spoke to her parents about possibly looking for a new club. That it might be time to take that step in her career. But never had she said, I need to leave.

"Is that the conclusion you've made after this, Clarissa?" Her coach, Sanchez, responded. She had this way of seeing through a person, which Clarissa knew she was able to do so on that day Maddie had to go to the hospital. And she still yelled at her, even though she could have been compassionate. Coaches.

"I..."

The truth is, leaving Betis could never be a thing concluded until acted upon. She would never just want to leave the only football team she

Then one day she'd find herself at a new club and think, how the fuck did I get myself to leave?

"No, um. It was just a thought." Clarissa answers Coach Sanchez finally.

"And why is that?"

"Things have been a bit rough recently. It's made me think a bit more about my career."

"Rough, how?" Sanchez raises an eyebrow. "You're our starting left-back. Last season, you registered the second most assists in the female under 18s league. Your performances were never the issue, it was your attitude. You can't be wanting to leave just because of that?"

"It's not a want, Coach," says Clarissa. "I can't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I love this team with my entire heart, I'd never want to leave. I just think it's something I need to do. For me. Because I'm more important than my career."

Sanchez opens her mouth, then shuts it. Reconsidering her words.

"I'm not happy that the team is losing a talent like yourself," says Sanchez. "Is your family okay with this?"

"I'm not happy that I'm leaving the only place I've been able to call home." Clarissa says, "I'm trying to trust my gut. My parents understand and they want to support my move, wherever it is."