ya got napped by the knot

ix. drunk

"I...I don't know what happened," Joey runs into the kitchen. "We were upstairs, and we had shared two bottles of wine, and then they opened another one, and now they're drunk and yelling at me."

"Don't be a pussy, go up there and yell at 'em back," Corey crosses his arms. "Or I can." 

"I'm not doing that."

"Guys!" you yell coming down the stairs with a half empty bottle of wine in one hand. "HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED THAT ROLLIN BY LIMP BIZKIT IS JUST THE REVAMPED HOKEY POKEY? BECAUSE I HAVE AND I AM ENLIGHTENED NOW."

"Do you see what I'm dealing with?" Joey motions to you.

"Shut the fuck up, you microscopic bitch," you keep your voice raised, taking another sip of wine. 

"Okay, I think that's enough," Jim approaches you. 

"Sit your ass down, you uneducated cunt nugget. I have 2 advanced degrees, I can do whatever I want."

"If I were uneducated, how would I be able to tell you that it's actually the Chop Chop Slide by Insane Clown Posse is actually the revamped hokey pokey?"

"Because you still are uneducated. Only the dumbest of asses would think that the Chop Chop Slide is a new hokey pokey when it is merely a morbid Cupid Shuffle," you correct. 

"Well, what do we do now?" Joey asks the group. 

"Put them to bed? Give them tylenol?" Mick suggests. 

"Definitely give them some food," Paul adds. 

"Try to see if they're into any of us," Chris smirks. 

"You're not getting jack shit outta me," you point to Chris. "You're not getting jack shit in me also."

You stagger a bit, and Jim immediately grabs your shoulder to hold you steady. 

"Thank you, James," you slur, taking another drink. "And I will take some food."

Paul and Joey walk into the kitchen to make you some food as you sit on the sectional couch with the other members of the band, Jim sitting himself down next to you to provide a barrier between you and Chris. Chris tends to be the most perverted with you and Jim doesn't want to risk him taking advantage of you. 

"I've always wondered what it would be like to be a xenomorph. Like what would it be like to be this massive destructive force of nature and all of a sudden these insignificant maggots try to steal and study your young and study your fellow xenomorphs," you muse, leaning your head back on the couch. "I really empathize with them."

"They killed hundreds of people without hesitation," Sid looks over at you with a raised eyebrow.

"So did the Decepticons, and you're still repping them!" you retort.

"Don't mention the Transformers," Jim mutters.

"Hold on, you like Transformers?" Sid scoots closer to you.

"I do," you nod.

"Goddamnit," Jim whispers.

"Hush, James," you admonish. 

You and Sid babble on about Transformers and the little sober bit in your drunk mind finds some respect for the DJ. His passion for his nerdy interest is quite endearing. 

You're soon given a plate of pizza rolls that's devoured pretty quickly. 

Now Slipknot must deal with hauling their belligerent hostage into their room. They elect Paul to help you up, take the bottle of wine from you, and get you upstairs. 

He gives you some nightclothes and turns around while you change, unknowingly making you smile. When you tell him he can look at you again, you walk over to him and hug him. 

"Is everything okay?" Paul looks down at you, brushing some hair from your face. 

"Yeah, I just like you the most out of my kidnappers."

"I'm honored," Paul hugs you back and kisses the top of your head. He releases you and lays you down in your bed, gently tucking you in. 

"Thank you," you mutter, gazing up at him. "You're very pretty."

"So are you," Paul strokes your cheek with his thumb. "Get some rest, okay?"

...

i saw this clip where james hetfield holds up a picture of him and lars and goes "look its me and my first wife" so now i need one of yall to help me find some unhinged james x lars fics on this cursed site

thanks for reading this too