"Who wants to watch South Park with me?" you call.
The house erupts in a series of "ME." as the Slipknot members closest to your room haul ass in and take up residence on your bed around you.
"I was not anticipating that positive of a reaction to that, that's so sweet," you smile while Joey grabs your arm and leans into your shoulder.
"Shht," Joey shushes you and plays the episode of South Park as he curls closer into you, getting a nice eyeroll from Chris on the other side of the bed.
An hour later, you've got Joey cuddled up into your right side while you're playing with his hair, Chris is leaning against the wall on your bed, and Jim is on the floor next to your bed and you're also giving him a scalp massage (he saw that you were giving Joey attention and got jealous, so he grabbed your other hand and placed it on his head and you got the hint).
...
"No, I know your dastardly games. Y'all hand me the alcohol thinking 'aww yeaaahhhh gonna get em all good and drunk and freaky' well PLOT FUCKING TWIST DINGBATS you just end up feeling bad for me because I'm pathetic!" you ramble as you flop down on the living room couch. You raise the bottle of wine to your lips to take a swig. "You forget that I overshare about all my self worth issues as soon as I encounter a single ounce of inhibition."
"Wait, I want in on this. I love talking about my issues," Corey takes a shot of fireball and sits down in front of the couch right by where you're laying. "Do you ever get the feeling that you have no purpose and you've just manipulated everyone into thinking you do?"
"All the time," you nod. "I'm literally just a failure that's lied to everyone my whole life about being halfway functional."
"Cheers I'll drink to that," Corey snags the bottle from you and takes a hefty drink.
"Hah, I hate myself," you chuckle.
"Me too," the singer hands the bottle back to you.
"Good, you're a shithead," you tease and roll over to lay on your side facing the back of the couch.
...
You stalk into the living room because you hear something absolutely blaring from the TV and you'd like to take a nap. Living with 9 metalheads, you'd think you'd be used to loud things while you're trying to sleep, but you deserve one peaceful nap.
"Oh, that's what that is," you chuckle to yourself upon discovering Sid and Chris getting absolutely DOWN to Colleen Ballinger's apology song.
"Oh my god! Join the toxic gossip train, my dear Y/n! Come, come," Sid motions you over with a bright smile and bloodshot eyes.
Chris flashes you the same crooked smile with red eyes as he drops it like it's hot and promptly falls over. You mutter a little "fuck it" and decide it's worth it to teach a high Chris how to drop it while dancing to toxic gossip train.
"Okay, stripper, you need to learn how to do this right," you help Chris get up. "Here, keep your feet hip's length apart."
Sid joins in the line in front of the TV, following your instructions on your other side.
"You want to have some support when you drop it. And don't lean back. You want your juicy, voluptuous ass to stick out," you further explain. "Alright, good. Now raise an arm and drop it."
Sid immediately falls over like a dumbass while Chris confidently does a celebratory shimmy for a successful drop.
You continue to dance with the two high men until they flop onto the couch, out of breath and sweaty.
"Holy shit, did you just fuck both of them?" Mick asks as he emerges from his room.
"Yes," Sid moans.
"Did you?" Mick looks back at you. You shake your head.
"Are you suuuurrreeeee?" Chris snickers.
"Yes, I'm pretty goddamn sure. If I had, I would have yelled at you to get a towel by now, but there you lay."
...
"What are you doing?" Jim walks in as you're munching on a spoonful of cookie dough.
"Eating cookie dough," you cover your mouth as you eat. "Want some?"
"Nooo thank you," the guitarist scoffs.
"Suit yourself," you shrug.
"Do you know the health risks associated with eating raw cookie dough?"
"Do you know the health risks associated with smoking?" you raise an eyebrow and bite down on a smaller spoonful of dough.
"I'm fine, thank you very much. Someone in my family got really sick from eating that shit."
"Well, they probably had an immune disorder that made them more prone to salmonella. My immune system is fine, so I'm gonna give myself a bit of self care and eat as much goddamn cookie dough as I damn well please."
"And what if your immune system isn't as good as you think?"
"I'm young," you shrug. "I'll figure it out. Besides, it's not like you're gonna take me to a hospital."
"Yeah, exactly."
You blankly stare at Jim as you eat another spoonful.
"It would be funny if I shat myself into oblivion, though," you smirk.
"Yeah, that would be kinda funny," Jim chuckles lightly as he lights a cigarette.
...
guys im so sorry i disappeared. i went to london for a week and got barely any writing done bc my laptop couldnt connect to the wifi and it was a whole thing
thank you so much for being patient and for reading, i love you guys
if you have any requests for this book, dm me!
bye now cutie :)
YOU ARE READING
ya got napped by the knot
Fanfictionruh roh, slipknot's kidnapped you just a little slice of lifey episodic type thing, i don't think there's going to be too much of a plot
