in every timeline (satosugu oneshots)

the five summers

Summary:

There's only one aquarium in Okinawa...

TW:

General angst and breakup shit

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"Why are we still here, Satoru?"

"What?" There's a loud ringing in Satoru's ears as his eyes swivel up to meet Suguru's.

Gesturing to the floor-to-ceiling fish tank beside him, Suguru asks in annoyance, "Why did you bring me here?"

Okinawa's aquarium was quiet. Humming from the water pumps below them was the only thing making a sound. Other than Satoru's absurdly loud heartbeat, he was sure Suguru could hear it even though he was six feet away.

The only light in the exhibit's area was from the tank itself. It bathes both men in an array of indigo hues.

Satoru's eyes glow indirectly due to the darkness, making Suguru wish he was closer so he could lose himself in the all-too-familiar bright blues. And Suguru's hair shines in a way that makes Satoru ache to bury his fingers in the silky strands.

"We used to dream about getting a house out here, remember? Before that mission," Satoru sighs, his eyes moving to watch a small sting ray swim up the length of the glass towards the surface of its tank. "I like to think that hasn't changed, that we both still dream about the same things."

"You think our dreams are the same?" Suguru's tone wasn't as harsh as it had been moments prior, but there is still an air of nervousness about it.

"They used to be."

There is a loss in this too.

Suguru can practically hear the cracks in Satoru's heart as he says quickly,

"Those dreams mean nothing to me anymore. Nothing matters to me except Nanako and Mimiko, as well as my vision for a new world," He pauses, wanting to drive his false point home. "You mean nothing to me, Satoru."

"Prove it to me."

Suguru furrows his eyebrows, stepping once instinctively towards Satoru. "What do you mean? Prove what?"

"That I mean nothing to you," Satoru says, confident that Suguru won't be able to do it.

They stare at one another as a familiar feeling passes between them like a warm summer breeze. All the love is still there– it's always been there. It's never left, and they both fucking know it.

A proper breakup never really happened between them. Suguru just left a few years ago with no note, no goodbye, no...anything. So Satoru is surprised Suguru agreed even to meet him here today.

"Should I stop....hoping for us, Suguru?" The question was simple, even open-ended.

Satoru wasn't asking Suguru to stop his plans or to even come back and turn himself in.

No, he just wanted to know if their feelings could eventually work in tandem once more.

Suguru's gaze was apprehensive as he takes in Satoru's face. But even he could see the desperateness plastered over the greatest jujitsu sorcerer's face;

If all you wanted is me, then take me. I'm right here, Suguru.

There are five heartbeats of silence between them.

Five fish swimming past them in a small school.

Five feet of space between them.

Five summers.

And Suguru takes a deep breath as he starts to say, "Satoru... "

"Don't, Suguru—" Satoru cuts him off quickly, eyes flashing dangerously at his first and only love. "I've gotten better at reading goodbyes, and I know when one is happening now."

Without saying another word, Suguru turns to face the exhibit beside them. Satoru does the same. Another large manta ray swims past, its shadow covering both men in darkness for a moment.

Suguru doesn't stay long; he turns to leave after another moment without another word.

They both know it's over...it never really started.

It had to end, Suguru reasons as he forces himself to put one foot in front of the other.

Doesn't everything always come to an end anyways?

But it didn't need to end, Satoru blinks back tears while he watches as his one and only walks away from him.

Not like this.

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Thanks for reading. This one is one of my personal faves from all of my satosugu one-shots.

xoxo
Eren