in every timeline (satosugu oneshots)

a chasm of sorts

Summary:

After hooking up, Suguru realizes it cannot keep happening...

TW:

None, other than angst tbh

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Familiar fingers trail along Satoru's spine, tucking into the waistband of his boxers for a moment before moving back up toward his neck.

The touch is repeated about ten times.

The silence in the air is heavy...like a wet blanket around both men's shoulders, weighing them down with each breath of oxygen.

Suguru lets his fingers pause halfway down Satoru's back, his heart beating furiously inside the cage of ribs around his heart. And he curses himself for allowing himself to be tempted once again by his one and only.

Their legs are intertwined.

Satoru takes one hand and laces his fingers through Suguru's free hand, grounding the cult leader back to their safe bubble.

Their fingers are intertwined.

Their hearts are just the same.

Suguru has spent days and days dreaming about Satoru's long fingers intertwined with his own.

Or about how tangled they might get in his long black hair.

Pieces that'll never fit in any puzzle, no matter the force used to push them into place.

He just reminds himself that this love must not be for him...

That Satoru Gojo must not be for him...

A pair of lips press a delicate kiss to Suguru's collarbone, sending a shiver through his body.

Suguru feels like the parts of him that mattered faded away a long time ago. The joyous person he was upon first entering the jujitsu world was so far gone it seemed silly that version of him ever existed.

And yet the other, softer parts of him belonged to Satoru.

Even if he doesn't want that.

Even if he could never fathom Satoru and himself truly being together.

Even if he's too late.

Even if he dies and Satoru was the one to deliver the final blow.

In every timeline and in every version of himself.

Suguru Geto will always belong to Satoru Gojo.

But the cult leader wasn't even sure he even existed anymore.

"You feel it as well, don't you?" Satoru's voice breaks the weighted air, slicing through Suguru's foggy brain.

"Feel what?"

Shifting his body to prop himself up on his elbows, Satoru's unnaturally bright blue eyes find Suguru's dark brown ones as he states, "There's a chasm between us."

"A chasm?" Suguru hums, intrigued by what his other half could possibly mean.

"I don't know if it was back in our second year. It was like the floor suddenly caved in after everything happened with Riko," Satoru's eyes cloud over at the mention of the failed mission, and he shakes his head softly before continuing, "Or if it happened slowly after that. A wrong step here and a miscommunication there...It just continued chipping away at the space between you and me until there was a chasm so large there was never going to be a bridge big enough to reach each side."

Silence.

Satoru closes his eyes before reopening them, meeting Suguru's as he concludes with, "A chasm...like I said."

Only Suguru can decipher that ache that Satoru's buried deep within his limitless ocean-colored eyes.

Sometimes Suguru doesn't mind the storms as long as they're Satoru's.

"This was never meant for me," Suguru admits to Satoru after another moment of searching one another's eyes.

Closing his eyes again, Satoru lays his head back upon Suguru's bare chest as he hums out a gentle, "I see."

Because he does see.

Satoru Gojo will grow older and older, yet his heart will remain the same age that Suguru Geto's will be frozen at.

Time will keep passing, and he knows that he will be the only one left who is cursed to remember– cursed to know.

And Satoru's six eyes tell him that they would suffer in every timeline.

"You do?" Suguru questions, unsure of what to make of Satoru's quick acceptance of rejection.

"Goodbye really is the only thing you know how to say...isn't it, Suguru?"

"You know I love you."

"I love you too."