Oneshots and Other Things

Self-Deprecation ~ Part 3

By the time they moved cities and into a hotel that hadn't double-booked its rooms, Ant had convinced Stephen that they could just continue to share anyway. Stephen had taken surprisingly little time to be persuaded, discarding his own room key in his pocket and following Ant to the wrong floor when they arrived.

In the next city, they did the same. Ant felt the judges cotton on one at a time, wondering how Stephen felt about the slightly curious looks they were given as everyone tried to work out what was happening. Dec seemed to figure it out almost instantly; of course he did; and didn't hesitate so much over mentioning it.

"Convenient that every hotel seems to be making the same mistake," he said cheekily the next morning. Ant was a couple of people ahead of Dec and Stephen in the breakfast buffet queue, smiling at the older man's teasing tone of voice. He could imagine Stephen's reaction; rolling his eyes and simultaneously trying to hide some embarrassment.

"Come off it," he retorted. Ant glanced over his shoulder in time to catch Stephen's elbow jabbing into Dec's side, far too gently to cause the pained reaction Dec gave.

"You can't expect me to stay quiet," he replied eventually. "I want the details, nonsense."

"You sound like a teenage girl," Stephen said exasperatedly, "And I don't know why you're asking me."

"Because you're standing right here," Dec said simply.

"And it would be so hard to walk for three seconds," Stephen replied sarcastically. "Can't you just do the psychic thing with Ant and then you'll work everything out anyway."

"But teasing you about it is so much more fun," Dec said sweetly, earning himself another elbow in the side before he turned more serious. "Come on. It must be going well?"

"For now," Stephen replied. His tone instantly made Ant's ears perk up. He knew what was coming. "He might be bored by the time we get to Edinburgh."

"You are very boring," Dec played along instantly although the joke was clear in his voice. If Ant thought about it, the joke was probably evident in Stephen's too, although he was now growing more and more convinced that the self-deprecating jokes were covering other insecurities. When these insecurities turned to thoughts of Ant 'getting bored', it was even harder to ignore them.

Ant sat with the pair of them for breakfast, glad that the topic of conversation had changed by the time they joined him but still taking a backseat. He couldn't help but wonder why Stephen behaved so differently when they were in private. Surely, he knew Ant wasn't going to get bored. He didn't actually think that, did he?

As Stephen disappeared to be taken to the theatre, Ant knew he was being all too transparent in his worry as he followed him out of the door with his eyes. He only had to glance back at Dec to know they were going to have a conversation about it.

"Trouble in paradise?" Dec asked, sounding calm over making a joke out of it. So, he clearly wasn't reading into things like Ant was.

"I heard you two earlier. Do you think he actually believes that about me?" Ant couldn't help but say in return, not wanting to lead with a question that betrayed his insecurities. He wasn't sure why he would bother trying to filter himself in front of Dec though – he wouldn't get away with it if he did.

"What?" Dec frowned, before slowly cottoning on. "You mean, when he made a joke about you getting bored?"

"Yeah, but is it a joke?" Ant persisted. "Like when he does a similar thing about something Erica has said?"

Dec winced slightly at the mention of the BGMT producer. Ant knew he didn't like her attitude either and had caught him on more than one occasion biting his tongue when she'd said something insensitive. Stephen certainly wouldn't vocalise his own discomfort at her comments. But the older man didn't seem all that worried about Stephen's comments.