Walking the Right Path

Chapter 14

"I thought you said you had a plan?! I thought you said we had to be nice to him?! What happened to making a better life for ourselves?" Micheal shouted in front of Tobias' face in anger. He ran his hands along his face in frustration. The rain still poured heavily outside, the trees rode with the direction of the harsh winds making them look as though their roots would be uprooted from the ground any moment. The three of them; Carlos, Micheal and the Tobias in question sat on the porch of Sammy's house staring at the gloomy view in front of them. The house is a couple miles away from the field which his family owned. The whole property belonged to them. All thirteen boys had retreated there to hide.

They had escaped there after the game that ended pitifully. And Carlos, he was a bundle of nerves as his fingers kept twitching and he kept pacing back and forth. He felt his stomach churn in anxiousness because he was imagining how much trouble they had caused. It wasn't supposed to end badly.

"Look I...I didn't know okay? I didn't know that he would be this injured. The plan was just to break his ankle so we would win and I didn't—" Tobias stuttered.

"I thought you thought things through, I thought you were smart and now we're in a deep deep mess because of you! What would Juan say now? He would never be as reckless as you were today. You just keep landing us in difficult situations."

"You think I don't know that?!" Tobias shouted angrily, "I had everything thought through to the dot. Don't you dare speak to me in that tone or else you'll end up worse than Daniel," he pointed his fingers at his forehead, "I have a plan, this is just a minor setback. We don't need him anymore after today. So far as he owes us that favor it's done, nothing to worry about."

Tobias intentionally didn't mention his discovery of the prize money on Daniel's head. Instead he removed his wet top and tossed it on the muddy ground. "We'll lay low till the Thursday of the next two weeks, that's when their shipments come in. Leave everything to me and Sammy."

Carlos didn't like the way Tobias had been acting rashly recently. The two always thought he was stupid but he sensed more than they did, he knew something didn't add up with his secrecy.

"But—"

"Leave everything to me. Join the rest of the guys inside, I need to be alone."

"And what about Daniel?" Carlos asked the million dollar question. "That's if he's still alive after we basically abandoned him there under the rain to die. What happens when someone finds him? What happens when he opens his mouth to mention our name? You're all just cowards, running away from your problems and that's why Juan isn't with us today. He's the only brave one among the lot of you, had it been we had his back maybe we'd not be here today."

"He's not going to die you fool! It's just rain," Tobias said. "You always exaggerate everything. Once it starts pouring heavily like this he'll wake up from it for sure and find his own way home."

No one said anything. They simply watched the chaos ensuing before them. In this life we all take risks, some have higher stakes than others but it's those ones that bring quick results.

•••

What do you call being in a blank state, a balance between what's real and what's not? It's like you're aware but you're not present, alive but not moving. It's like you've taken a step back to look at yourself and what you've been doing. And in that state Daniel wished he was home with his mother, basking in the warmth of her freshly cooked meals and sitting opposite his father in the dining room. He wished for none of this drama, he wished for some peace and Joy.

Daniel wasn't sure what was happening to him but he found himself moving between time, things around him kept changing and he felt a presence of tranquility around him, one that felt like an atmosphere of being with someone familiar. He wasn't alone.

"I don't know anything anymore," he said to no one in particular, "I feel like I don't know my own name, I don't know what's right and wrong, what's good or bad, what's rational and what's smart, I'm lost between the webs of want and need. I'm lost with questions that weigh me down. I'm sad but I pretend everything is under my control but I don't want to control anymore. I don't want to have the say in my life because I'm proof that it only leads me to disaster. I don't want to be afraid of the people around me, I don't want to second guess myself, I don't want to make stereotypical mistakes by letting myself be fooled by a group of boys because I crave any form of acceptance and most importantly I don't want to be alone."

There was a lingering sadness in him that made Daniel angry, frustrated and almost...numb. Maybe that's why he couldn't feel any pain or the heavy raindrops falling on his unconscious body where they left him. "I don't want to hate, or lie or be angry! I don't want to be rejected! I want to be loved! I want someone to care for me, I want a friend by my side when I go through the worst. I want to be brave enough to not care what the people think about me. I want to stop complaining all the time about my problems because of how selfish it makes me sound. I want to be happy, like truly happy. Why can I not have that?" Daniel was still in a state somewhere between his subconsciousness, weeping for himself.

"Why must I always hide my pain till it gets unbearable? I'm only one person."

"And that's the problem. You're not only one man." A familiar voice said. "I am with you as I was with you and I am still with you. From beginning to end."

"Who are you?"

"Your comforter, your helper, your guide, your strength, your teacher and your friend. I do not speak of my own will, Daniel. I speak only what Christ asks me to. You do not let me lead your life and that is why you are suffering. You do not acknowledge me and that is why you do not see me but I have always been here, waiting."

"But I did everything. I was good—"

"That is not what this is about. You have to seek me diligently before you find me. Your heart resides elsewhere and that's why you did not feel me as you say. I tell you truly, when you accept me in both heart and mind that is when you will find all you seek. I will protect you and be your companion. I will show you everything."

"What...how do I even start? What should I do? I don't know anything anymore. And I don't think anybody wants me now."

"First of all confess and repent. Then the next step is to walk into my consciousness, do not stray from me. Love, study your word for it is your sword, seek me diligently. Always remember that you can not do it on your own, I am here to help you when you need me. I want you, God wants you, the people of Heaven want you and there are people here too who need you. Remember that it will not be easy but I will preserve you and lead you into maturity. When you are sad talk to me, when you are happy talk to me, when you need advice talk to me, when you are afraid talk to me, I am interested in everything you do Daniel. I am a being that resides in you. I give you life so that you can give it to others."

"I... I don't understand."

"That is okay. I will teach you gradually."

Then the voice ceased talking. Daniel lay still, thinking whether what happened actually did when he heard someone shouting his name. The voice was so distant yet familiar—in a different way from the one he just heard in his mind.

"Daniel!" The voice screamed and ran towards him so he could hear it clearly now.

"Daniel! Wake up. Oh God what do I do?" The person was crying? "Daniel!! You're so cold. God please let him be okay. Let him be okay, he may be foolish but let him be okay. How did you end up here for goodness sake?" The voice was soothing even though he was being reprimanded. "You will be fine, I know you will. Nothing can happen to you."

He allowed her soft assurances and the thought that someone cared enough to cry for him lull him into a state of sleep.

When you wake up you'll be stronger...