love and addiction

two. how do you know when its become a problem

smoking was like a road trip through the mind...only you could view from the outside. A needle, spoon, and substance of choice was all you needed, all Fharao needed. That was her addiction on the outside; on the inside, she was happy and very much loved herself through and through, but just her doing drugs: the meth, the coke, and the occasional weed, along with the heroin she shot up daily; Shit, who knows when it'll change her mindset for the worse to come.

Fharao...

'I could drug my life away if I wanted to, but damn this shit was heavy on my mind. I'm a fucking psychologist who did drugs outside of her job and no one knows. What the fuck? Shooting up 15 milligrams of heroine and snorting a whole small ounce of coke, that's like what five lines maybe? Shit who knows? Overall I always overdo it. Even if I don't mean to, it happens. So I sit here in this tub, doing the most I can leaving the heroine for last because that's what makes the fix even better. Having to hide this while my fiancé sleeps ten meters away hurts like a bitch, let's hope none of my patients notice my fucking arms today. Fuck.

Standing up in the tub, I get out and wash my hands in the sink, of the residue to clean off any evidence and put the shower on to get ready. Taking my clothes off, before unlocking the door I gather my towel and wash cloth to place on the sink and get myself together. Hearing the door open, Letitia says to me, "Good morning mama. Are you feeling okay?" Not knowing how to reply back, I say "Yes baby, good morning my love. And how are you this morning?" " I'm doing good baby. I think I'm ready to take up acting now. Might resign from the office and try to find me an agent, send in some head shots." Just thinking of her being in a movie or acting in general automatically turned me on. It was her passion aside from Behavioral Analysis. Now before you even be shady, yes she went to drama school for acting. So she knows what the fuck to do. Don't be talking shit about my woman. Anyway, I turn the water temperature to warm so that Letitia can get in after me, while I start to put my clothes on and get started on my makeup for today and finishing off my morning routine. A few hours later, I finish off my look and head downstairs for some breakfast and my keys to go to work, praying that today will go well.'

Heading back upstairs, Fharao goes into her shared room to kiss her fiancé goodbye, being the youngest, it was crazy although she had her space, not that she loved her sisters, which reminded her to call Hailie and congratulate her on the engagement. Of course in the next few weeks will the Hall of Fame Awards, and she would go to support her dad, her role model in all of this. Hugging her woman, Fharao tells Letitia goodbye and makes her downstairs and out the door. Around 6:45 am, she makes it to the place that was her job, Detroit Medical Center, or the DMC. Working as a psychologist at the world's known hospital in all of Michigan, it was home to her and many others; walking in, Fharao grabs the folders of her clients for today and makes her way to her office.

Everybody knew how good Fharao was, for once she sat down and got to work, it was business and Dr. Mathers was on a roll. Making her way, to the cafeteria for lunch, she sees her best friend and colleague, Mya Jones, who worked in the same field as well. They were friends in college, too; meeting at a pep rally, they hit it off instantly, from then on they would become friends and the best psychologists known to man. Although, Mya felt that her best friend was hiding something from her, she just didn't know what. Wanting to confront her about it, Mya sits down next to her colleague and says, "Good morning my dear friend, how are you feeling today?"

Fharao looks to her best friend smiling, "I'm feeling my best today, and you, Ms. Mya?"

"I'm feeling good. Hey you mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

Wiping the smile off her face, Fharao was afraid that Mya had found out about her drug addiction and hated to confront her on it. She hoped that she hadn't because honestly it would wreck her, she had wanted to tell her on her own. It didn't seem right for her to hear it from someone else.