Heart Me

9

Stone pulled a cover over her and then sat at the edge of the bed looking at her serene expression. Iris had dismantled in his arms and was so nervous that he carried her to her bedroom and rested her on the bed. She cried herself to sleep blaming herself for the death of their baby girl. She cried copiously only stopping when she couldn't cope with exhaustion anymore. They didn't talk. She said nothing else, and he didn't either, but he stayed with her throughout her heavy breakdown, holding her and pampering her hair. Seeing her so frail brought tears to his eyes. Secretly, he blamed himself for not realizing that Iris was far from being alright. The tip of his fingers caressed her cheek while his watered eyes studied every trace of her face. Then, he leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek softly, gently, not to wake her. He wanted her to rest. Iris needed a proper rest. Stone got up slowly and adjusted the cover better, pulling it over her shoulders, and he left the bedroom after.

He stopped in front of the window seeing the rain battering on the glass. Droplets raced down the glass as little soldiers marching to their destination. The sound was intense, like they were ready to break the glass. The street was just a blur from which he could perceive street lights and cars passing by and obviously the rooftops of the buildings that surrounded them, but nothing was clear. His thoughts were still on Iris though. I still love you, echoed inside his mind countless times. It should be something he should be celebrating, and deep inside he was, but there was so much pain and panic in her words that it made him worry more than celebrating. He took off his glasses and scratched his eyes with the tip of his fingers, letting out a deep sigh as his thoughts ran wild inside his head. Why didn't I tell her that I love her too? He thought. I should have said something. She's gonna think I don't feel the same. His heart started racing too and his mouth went dry.

Stone backed away from the window and sat on the couch. Head down, elbows resting on his knees and palms holding his face. Eyes closed. Legs bumping up and down. Heart racing. Tears wetting his cheeks. His feelings for her washing over him, crushing him, dismantling him. In seconds, his mind played their life together from the moment they met until the day he left the house. His lips trembled. His body started shaking lightly and he too started crying low, alone, letting all his frustrations and fears out. Guilt most of all was crushing him. How could he not realize how badly she was doing? Stone cried for a while, with his fingers tangled in his unruly hair. After a while, he raised his head, cleaned his face with the back of his hands and took several deep breaths to calm down. One of them had to remain calm, of not her then he had to do it. Feeling some sense of control, he reached out for his cell and dialed Marlow's number.

"Stone..." Marlow breathed as she answered his call. Stone threw his body against the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"Can you talk, Mars?" He asked, resting a hand behind his head. "Or are you busy?"

"I just got home, so yeah..." Marlow's voice sounded apprehensive. "Is everything alright?" She sat at the edge of the couch.

"It's Iris..." Stone fell silent after. Marlow resorted to silence too. "Mars... I need... I know it's not something I should do, but I need to talk to her therapist. Do you know him?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Funny you're asking that because I just got home, and I heard this message form him..."

"I thought you might know him..." Stone interrupted her.

"I know him, yes... and he wants to talk to you..." Her voice changed to an apprehensive tone again. "I had this message of him asking me to give him his number."

"Really?" Stone got up and sat really quickly. "Did he tell what he wants to talk about?" Marlow shook her head.

"No... but it must be important, Stone."