Heart Me

22

After spending the day at the beach, and a more private chat with Poppy in the guest room, Iris finally entered her bedroom. The sound of water running from the bathroom let her know Stone was having his shower after a beer with James near the pool that it took longer than usual. They should all get ready for the barbecue. She immediately pulled her dress over her head and dropped it on the chair near the door, staying in her golden color bikini. She was walking up to the wardrobe when she spotted Stone's notebook open on their bed. She hesitated, feeling a surge of curiosity mixed with reluctance to invade his privacy. However, the notebook seemed to beckon her, its pages whispering untold stories and secrets waiting to be discovered. With a deep breath, she succumbed to her curiosity and approached the bed. She sat and grabbed it, and despite her initial hesitation, she found herself captivated by the raw emotions and vulnerability laid bare on those pages. She did not go any further than three or four pages back, but what caught her attention was what was written on the page he left it open. She read it over and over again, feeling her heart skipping beat after beat.

How good is he?

How warm are his eyes...

After the first two lines, Iris raised her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her. Tears came to her eyes, and she thought about not reading the rest. But her curiosity was stronger than her that very instant and she lowered her eyes to the black ink on the white pages. It seemed like he was working on it as some words were scratched and replaced by others, sometimes even entire sentences were rewritten.

How good is he?

How warm is his heart?

The more she read the sentences scrawled across those pages, the pang of realization became stronger and more alarming. Stone was expressing his insecurities about her one-night stand with Benedict, she was sure. The words on the pages were raw and filled with emotions she had never seen from him before.

I wake up and wait up...

The answers are fatal...

Her heart sank as she realized the depth of his pain. It was evident in the way he poured his thoughts onto the paper, grappling with his own feelings of inadequacy and fear of losing her. Iris could feel the weight of his words, each sentence like a dagger to her heart.

Is he truly out of sight?

If he's truly out of mind...

Tears welled up in her eyes as she rested the notebook on the bed, overwhelmed by the complexity of his words.

"Are you ok?" She heard his voice suddenly, and Iris cleaned her eyes as fast as she could.

"I didn't hear you..." She gasped as she smiled at him.

"You don't have to pretend..." Stone sat by her side, running a towel over his wet hair. "I saw you reading the notebook..."

"I..." She stuttered. "I'm sorry... I was curious..." Iris spoke in vague sentences and with seconds of silence in between. "...I didn't want to pry... I was just..."

"Curious." He added, holding her hand in his. Stone did not sound angry at all. On the contrary, he was very calm.

"Do you still feel insecure? Those questions written in there..." Her blue glare locked in his. Stone smiled tenderly, leaned over her and kissed her lips.

"I wrote that the day you told me." He then added, pinching her nose with his free hand. "I was just looking at it..."

"I'm sorry." Iris whispered, closing her eyes, and resting her forehead against his. Her free hand resting on his face, caressing it. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I swear... I feel like this is gonna be a shadow creeping over our heads for the rest of our lives."