Sleepwalker Wolf

Long Road Trips

Valery

My father remains MIA the next few days and I hate having to shove the prickling anxiety that fact causes to the back of my mind, but Trav and I figured out where my mother is. There's the corner of a recognizable building in the background. We had to crop the picture and reverse image search, but we discovered it was the edge of the Rose Bowl Stadium in Pasadena, California. What my mom was doing out there and so close to a big city like L.A. I don't know. Coeur d'Alene wasn't a very big city and it still got to be too much sometimes.

            Trav spoke to his parents about our long road trip, double checking with Sandy that I would be perfectly fine to take the almost nineteen-hour drive to where my mother might be. I did more research, AKA Facebook stalking, and found that her friends list was set to public. After thoroughly searching it, I found the man in her profile picture. His profile had more set for public viewing, like his job and his relationship status. They were married and he worked at one of the many labs in the L.A. area. If only I had an address, but maybe just asking around some like I did in Libby might work. The thought of looking for one woman in a county with a population of almost ten million is daunting, but it feels like something I need to do.

            Trev and Eli drop us off at my car while making one of the last deliveries to Stan's butcher shop. Stan let me park my car behind the shop because I didn't want to sell it and couldn't force it up the gravel road to the Scott's residence. I gave him a long hug and told him about finding my father and going to California to look for my mother. He wished me luck but told me not to expect anything from her because, as he said, "The bitch dropped you like roadkill at a hospital and then drove to the other side of the country."

            Carry was similarly harsh in her wording, telling me that woman didn't deserve to be thought of as my mother and she would prefer if I actually did live with the reincarnation of the Manson family. She also said that she would be here to love on me as much as I needed once I got back.

            Trav and I got on the road early in the afternoon, planning to drive into the night and stop at a hotel before finishing tomorrow. At eight weeks pregnant the nausea has only worsened, but Sandy gave me some kind of bracelet used for motion sickness that helps. We've only had to stop twice for me to puke and use the bathroom and we're already six hours into the drive. Having already stopped for dinner, we plan on another few hours of driving before getting a hotel at the border of Oregon and California.

Trees flash by my window lit in golden hues by the setting sun. Trav's hand rests on my thigh where it has for majority of the drive. My own rest over my lower abdomen, still grappling with the idea that there was a tiny person growing inside of me. In thirty-two more weeks, we would have a baby entirely dependent upon us for everything. I would have to guide them through life, and if I screwed it up, I could very well ruin their life.

"You okay, sweetness?" Trav squeezes my thigh and looks over at me in concern. "Do we need to stop again?"

I give him a pathetic smile and lean my head over on his shoulder. "I think I'm okay. Worried about finding my mom, worried about my dad being gone, worried about the baby, just worried in general I guess."

Trav squeezes my thigh again, but keeps quiet, offering silent support. Placating words mean very little, just having him here with me helps enough. Our relationship has stabilized, an understanding of each other growing steadily so now we rarely need to vocalize our needs. The pregnancy occasionally strains it as well as my near constant anxiety regarding my parents, but while sometimes I want to strangle him for sleeping so soundly while I stare up at the ceiling, my love for him never wavers.

We drive another few hours before I can't go any longer, needing to stretch my legs and sleep in a bed. After getting a room at a hotel just off the freeway, we carry our bags upstairs and I nearly collapse onto the bed. I'm already half asleep when Trav starts nudging me.