Sleepwalker Wolf

Mother

Warning: Mentions of mild child abuse

Travis

Val stands at the front door, taking in the entryway and the living room just to the right. It's a nice home, with full bookcases and two couches facing each other in front of them. The floors are covered in dark hardwood. It's all well-lit by natural light coming from large windows covered with sheer curtains. There's the sound of movement coming from further in the house where Clay disappeared to and there's a familiar undertone to the human smell around that matches Val.

            A woman who looks exactly like Val steps through a doorway at the back of the living room. She has blond hair, just shorter than Val's, and the same face, only her eyes are blue. It's a little bizarre, like seeing what Val will look like in twenty years. She's oddly void of emotion as she stares at her daughter. There's no fear, no panic, just a blank slate and it creeps the hell out of me. The thought of seeing my child for the first time in twenty years, I would be in tears. The woman in front of me was cold as ice.

            "We can sit here and talk if you want," Melinda says, gesturing to the sofas.

            We take seats facing each other and I take Val's hand in mine. I plan on sitting here quietly unless I'm forced to speak, but I need Val to know I'm here if she needs me. Her hands are clammy, and I can feel a slight tremor in her fingers, but she's taken the biggest step and it's mostly downhill from now.

            "How did you find me?" Melinda asks first. A little irritation bubbles up in me that she wants to take the reins in how this conversation will go, but I keep my mouth shut.

            "I got your name from the courthouse in Libby. After that I just put your name into Facebook and scrolled through the results until I found someone that looked like me. I found your husband's profile and it wasn't hard after that."

            Melinda sighs and opens her mouth to speak, but Val takes her chance to take the reins back and asks, "Why?"

            Blinking, Melinda leans back against the sofa and clasps her hands before her with a slightly confused look on her face. "Why what?"

            God, I want to snap at this woman. She comes to face to face with the child she abandoned twenty years ago and doesn't understand the question why? Was this woman just stupid or was she enjoying this show of innocence she was putting on. Like the woman sitting before her wasn't in any way her child. Like she had never done a wrong thing in her life. I have to bite my tongue to keep my mouth shut.

            "Why did you leave my father and why did you leave me alone in a hospital? Just why?"

            "I met your father when we were both very young. Russ was always more attached to me than I was to him. I never liked being... well, you know. But Russ always had such big plans, wants a lot of kids, got a job as a farmhand, and planned to stay in backwoods Montana for the rest of our lives. I wanted more and I was miserable when I was pregnant with you. We never seemed to connect right. You always preferred Russ, only stopped crying when he held you, only smiled and laughed when he was around. I hit a breaking point and just couldn't take it anymore. I planned on taking you with me and telling Russ where we were because maybe he'd follow me, and I wouldn't have to be the bitch that abandoned him. But when we reached Idaho that first night, I just couldn't do it. I knew the hospital would take care of you and you'd go back to Libby or at least to a mother who loved you properly."

            I know that was supposed to put Val at ease and alleviate any remnants of guilt Melinda may feel, but it did the opposite.

            "I didn't. I was bounced around in foster homes across Idaho until I was emancipated. The only family I have ever had I had to find myself. And you broke Dad. He lost his mind after you left. Uncle Garry said the fevers from the separation fried his brain and the alcohol and God knows what else he used as a crutch during it didn't help any. You could have just left me with Dad or even Uncle Garry. At least then I wouldn't have grown up with no idea of who I am or where I came from. Not to mention, for some reason I can't shift unless I'm asleep and Uncle Garry doesn't remember me ever having problems, so can you explain that to me?"