Through the Lens

4

Hopping out of the car, I made my way to Bradley's house. Madison had to work.

"Make sure you're back for dinner," my Dad called after me. Sunday dinner was a ritual at our house and sacred. It was the one meal a week we had together so it was hard to have an excuse to miss.

"Yes, daddy," I said heading a few doors down the street.

Bradley and I had been friends as long as I could remember. Since diapers maybe. His Mom was like my second mother. She was never surprised to see me and always ready to feed me, coming in with snacks, telling me how she thought Jenna was too skinny. Jenna didn't know what she was missing because boy, could she cook.

Sitting in Bradley's room could give you hives. The boy was totally unorganized, clothes on his desk and books on his bed. It was like a warzone but he seemed to be completely at peace with that. He just sat with his arms folded behind his head, amongst the papers on his bed, and listened to me. I spilled everything that happened, and his vibrant green eyes stayed focused on me, attention unwavering.

And now having shared everything, I couldn't help but notice just how cute he was and what a good friend he was. It wasn't hard to understand why Madison had given in and decided to date him, knowing full well this would change their friendship forever. Me, on the other hand, even if Madison hadn't dated him, we would only ever be friends.

Looking amused, he asked, "So what are you going to do?" Briefly, I wonder if he ever felt burdened by having two girls for best friends while he sat back pushing his shoulder length blonde hair off his forehead, a frequent habit of his.

"Nothing," I said, heaving out a sigh. I just needed to get that off my chest. The guy was taken, and Allie was really nice. She'd even invited me to hang out with her and Ethan after work. Though, I'd declined. I had enough of being the third wheel now that my best friends were dating. I didn't plan on being a third wheel somewhere else.

"What's up with you?" I asked. He didn't seem like himself. He seemed...distracted.

That's when I saw it. Sadness. I wanted to move over and hug him. Instead I waited, sitting in his desk chair, while he crossed his hands in his lap. "I told Madison I loved her," he said.

Crap, I knew something like this would happen. I wondered why Madison hadn't mentioned it last night when I called. Then again, I'd been busy rattling on about a guy that was no longer even an option for me, never had been really. I'm sure Madison had kept quiet because normally, I was the one doing the listening. And I loved her for that. She'd always let me have my day. But now I hated that, wishing she would have spoken up about it because something obviously had gone wrong with his admission to her.

"And," I prodded, not really ready for it.

"And, nothing," he said. "She didn't say anything."

Damn. "Bradley," I began.

Holding a hand up, he said, "It's okay, Jess. You don't have to try to make it okay. I didn't tell you for that. There's more."

Nodding, I waited for him to say what he needed to say. "You know there is a party next week we were going to?" Despite Bradley having two girls for best friends, he had other friends. He was the kind of guy that got along with everyone. And yeah, I knew some of his other friends were throwing a summer party. I hadn't planned on going though. "I got a text from someone I'd met before school ended that they would be there."

Understanding was clear. He'd met someone before he and Madison had become a couple. "This person doesn't know about Madison?" I ventured.

"No," he said flatly.

"Madison will understand," I said.

Glancing away, I could tell there was more to this story. Was he into this other girl? "Jess," he said. The way he said my name was like he was begging me to accept what he was about to say. "It's a guy."

It wasn't at all what I expected him to say, so it took time for me to process it. "You're gay?"

Shaking his head, he said, "I like girls. I like girls a lot. And I do love her." He spoke like that needed clarification.

"So, who is this guy then?" I questioned. Maybe, I was a bit naive.

"There was this party a while back. You and Madison didn't come. I guess, I got a bit drunk. I had to take a piss bad. And I don't remember exactly how it happened, he was there.... and he kissed me."

You could hear a pin drop. Keeping an open mind, I showed no judgment. But I still couldn't form a sentence. I was so shocked. I never expected Bradley...and a guy... "Say something," he pleaded.

"Did you like it?" I finally asked.

Chuckling dryly, he said, "Like 'I kissed a boy, and I liked it?'" His words, reminding me of the song, I nodded. "I don't know. Maybe. It wasn't the first time I'd kissed a guy before," he admitted.

Now that really threw me. I was starting to believe I didn't know my best friend at all. "It wasn't?"

"A couple of years ago when our family went to Florida, I ended up in the hotel pool the night before we were leaving. It was empty except for this other guy. We were horsing around, and he made a pass at me."

"So what does this mean for Madison," I asked, having to get to the point of all this.

Looking down, he spoke to his hands instead of me. "Nothing. I want to be with her. I'm not interested in this guy. But if she finds out," he said, his words trailing off.

"You need to tell her," I said. I couldn't imagine keeping this secret from her. Then I hugged him, because I could only imagine how huge it was for him to tell someone, even me, his best friend. "I love you, Bradley, no matter what. And she'll feel the same." I said, face still tight in the crook of his shoulder but my words were forced and my heart was suddenly heavy.

I felt like shit, leaving his house. He was a good guy, and I knew he would never do anything to hurt Madison. But I was afraid she wouldn't understand. Oh, she would support him as a best friend. But I didn't know how the girlfriend in her would react.

That night, I worried about my best friends. And my own boy troubles just didn't seem that important anymore.