Through the Lens

9

Morning brought Madison to my doorstep.  My Mom must have let her in because I woke with her hovering over me, her arms crossed over chest

"Crap, Madison, you nearly scared the shit out of me," I said, squinting, voice husky from sleep.

Walking over to my window, she opened the blinds, letting the sunlight blaze in evaporating the darkness in the room. Closing my eyes against the sudden brightness, I turned over to avoid it all but Madison planted herself on the bed in my field of vision.

"So, tell me everything," she said.

Rolling my eyes and wanting to go back to sleep, I turned over to be assaulted again by the sunlight. Giving in, I groaned and turned back over in Madison's direction, "Give me a minute."  I complained slowly getting up, I walked out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom I shared with my siblings.  After taking care of the necessities including a quick brush of my teeth, I headed back to my room.

Madison had made herself comfortable, tucked under my sheets and head on my pillow.  After studying her in disbelief and a tiny hint of affection, I gave in. Laying back down I said, "You know you suck."

"Why?" she mused cheerfully.

"Because you have a permanent tan I'd kill for," I said, grabbing her arm in my hand, admiring her golden hue. Madison's Mom was black, and her Dad was white.  And the mix was stunning, Madison was simply gorgeous.  She had hazel eyes, curly light brown hair with natural blonde highlights, and a lightly tanned skin tone.

Snatching her arm away from me in mock anger, she said, "Stop avoiding the topic, Jess. Tell me."

And so I did. I told her in great detail about my night with Ethan leaving no stone unturned.

"Let me get this straight.  He gave you a look after tickling you?" she asked.

Leave it to her to zero in on that. "Yes. But it could have been nothing."

"Maybe," she replied. "But, it could mean that he likes you more than he should. Maybe in the same way you feel about liking him, But with that girlfriend..."

I interrupt before she can go on, "I don't want to think that way.  It's not going to happen between us. It's just confusing.  Anyway, what's up with you and Bradley?  I feel like you guys don't tell me anything anymore," I pouted, successfully changing the topic to something more important.

"Come on, Jess, I don't want it to get weird for you.  You've like known him longer than I have."  This was true.  I've known Bradley since forever.  He'd always lived just down the street from me.  Madison had moved here with her family in the fifth grade and had joined our duo to successfully make a trio that had lasted until now. 

"I don't know.  Just tell me like you would tell me about any other guy," I pleaded.  I didn't want things to get weird between too, but things were really changing, and I didn't want to lose my two best friends in the process.

She looked nervous.  "You can't tell him this," she begged.  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. They both were important to me, and keeping secrets from them was hard especially about Allie.  I didn't relish the idea of adding more secrets to the mix.  "I've always thought Bradley was cute.  But we were friends, and I never thought we'd end up together.  Now, I love him like a brother.  But I don't yet love him like a boyfriend.  It's weird.  I like him a lot.  But I don't love him yet.  Is that wrong?  I mean, this is all new.  He told me he loved me, and I froze.  I didn't say it even though I do because it's just not yet the way I think he loves me."

Oh gosh, darn.  What the hell was I supposed to do with that information? "Do you think you could ever love him that way?"

Her look was thoughtful.  "I think so. I mean when he kisses me it's like magic.  And I definitely feel strongly about him.  I just can't say it's love yet."