13 Reasons Why -Nicolas Sturniolo

Tape 3, Side B

So I walked into the diner and sat at the counter.

And, when you go there- if you go there-

don't order right away.

Just sit there and wait, and wait a little more. Listen to the conversation around you.

Are people wondering why you're sitting there alone?

Now, glance over your shoulder.

Did the conversations stop? Did their eyes turn away?

I'm sorry if this sounds pathetic, but you know it's true!

You've never gone there by yourself, have you?

..Its a totally different experience.

The only reason you've never gone alone is the reason I've just explained.

But, if you do go, and you don't order anything, everyone is going to think the same thing about you that they thought about me.

That you're waiting for someone.

So, sit there, and every few minutes, glance at the clock at the wall.

The longer you wait -and this is true- the slower the hands will move.

After fifteen minutes are up, you have my permission to order a shake.

Because, fifteen minutes is ten minutes longer than it should take for even the slowest person to walk there from their neighborhood.

Somebody isn't coming.

Now, if you need a recommendation: You can't go wrong with a banana and peanut butter shake.

Now, keep waiting for how ever long it takes to finish your shake.

If thirty minutes go by, start digging in with your spoon so you can get the hell out of there.

....That's what I did.

Thirty minutes is a long time to wait for a Valentine's date.

Especially inside the diner by yourself!

It also gives you plenty of time to wonder what happened.

Did he forget? Because he seemed sincere.

I mean, even the cheerleader who was standing beside you guys thought he meant it. Right?

"Calm down, Nic." That's what I kept telling myself, "you're not setting yourself up for a fall."

Does that sound familiar to anyone else?

Isn't that how I convinced myself not to pull my survey out of the box?

"Okay, stop."

Those were the thoughts running through my head while waiting thirty minutes for Malcolm to show up.

Which, probably didn't put me in a good frame of mind for when he finally did show up.

He sat down in the stool next to me and apologized.

I told him that I had almost given up and left. He looked at my empty milkshake glass and apologized again.

But in his mind, he wasn't late!

He wasn't even sure I was going to be there.

And, I'm not going to hold that against him.

Apparently, he thought we were joking about the date..

Or he assumed we were joking about the date.

And half-way home, he stopped, thought about it, and went to the diner, just in case.

And that's why you're on this tape twice, Malcolm.

You turned around "just in case"

Just in case I, Nicolas Sturniolo, "Mr reputation", was waiting for you.

And sadly, I was.

At the time I thought it might be fun. At the time, I was stupid.

But you know, Malcom. Going through all of this, asking me out, going the extra mile, turning around "just in case"???

It was all worthless if you were going to throw it out the window to cheat on me. Wasn't it?

It was stupid.